Friday, April 29, 2011

The Starties! [Hosted by SickKitty] (Part 2)

(Part 2) continued...

The 55 in a 54 Zone Prize for "best and blackest" heads over to Devonte Washington for quite possibly being the only reason to ever move to Detroit ever. Seriously. He's so black that if I stand next to him for too long, I'll probably get a killer tan. Haters gonna hate Devonte, but you keep doing your thing, g.

The How the Fuck Do I Work This Award goes to Jonas Jeffries for pretty much attacking the entire universe with bullets. I think one flew through my TV and broke my vase. Well, Max's vase. Well, Max's mom's prized Vase from ancient times. It wasn't like I knocked it over while drunkenly dancing or anything. Nope. It was all Jonas up in this. Honest.

The Best for the Ad Execs prize goes to Jeanette Buendia for flashing the cameras. Let's be honest, if that amazing ass isn't all over the DVD box covers, then the producers have failed us all.


The SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH award goes to Anna Higgins. Who screamed. And did nothing else. Oh my god SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH.

Honorable mentions include the Rosaline Prize for "most forgotten love interest" toZachariah Johnson, who will never live up to the godly sexy godliness of sex that is Shawn Morrison, and the Little Jimmy is Feeling New Things Down There Award for "most awkward moment to become sexually aroused" to Bobby Goldman for getting a massive erection at the sight of Amber Lyons. No worries Bobby, those things you're feeling are a perfectly natural part of growing up.

Alrighty lovers, SickKitty is out for now. Remember to keep your pretty ears peeled for the first Season 65 Max and Kitty podcast, and until next time, keep on stripping ladies!


  1. The truly impressive thing about the gun incident with Jonas is that he managed to avoid so much as skimming any of the other people in the ship. His lack of aiming skill will go down in legend.

    I am worried about our nation if the Jeanette reaction is anything near normal, by the way. Seriously, that sort of thing is what I expect to hear of happening in night clubs, not to see displayed by teenagers doomed to death. Perhaps she is hoping that the producers will pull her off the island if she becomes popular enough.

  2. I'm rather surprised how many contestants are focusing on the "Popularity" aspect of the game, ie, doing things to ensure fan support.

    It seems like at least half the contestants are more focused on their lives AFTER the game and how the world will view them, as if their survival is assured. This state of mind won't last long. I expect kids to start dropping like flies before long, and "fan-service" characters like Jeanette will be among them.

  3. Hey, maybe they've just accepted their certain death and decided that they might as well go out in a blaze of ass. I mean glory.

  4. I think this is probably due to the team element. It encourages hope, since survival is far more likely than in past seasons.