Thursday, August 11, 2011

SickKitty Bitches About Teams

Right. So after the temporary delay in your regularly scheduled "me yelling at you all for being idiots" because of a broken laptop, a very small drug induced coma, and Max being a complete and utter asshole, I'm back! And I'm here to fill your lives with my wonderful bitching! Huzzah!

Let's talk about the fake teams, shall we? Several groups of wanna be survivors have grouped together despite the fact that they should be murdering each other. Among them is the mess that is Shawn Morrison and Ben Whatshisface.

After a while of Ben being completely stupid with his weapon (an entire bag of bandannas), he figured out how to use it to his advantage, and is now lying to Shawn and saying that they're on the same team. Shawn has no reason not to believe this, despite the fact that his mentor pretty much told him not to trust Ben. In fairness though, that mentor talks in the most complicated ways. Stupid, really. If Shawn was on Jarred's team, then Ben would be dead. However, this already fragile alliance got even more fragile after Shawn murdered Jaszmine Johnson with a snake.

Actually, that reminds me! The Most Amusing Kill Thusfar Award goes to Shawn for that display! Snake death. Who woulda thought?

What was I saying? Oh, yeah. Basically, if Shawn doesn't figure out by morning that Ben- who now has a gun- isn't on his team, then it's because Ben finally did something smart and murdered him.

Or because Shawn is a stoner and most of his braincells are really quite dead.

Moving on!

Up next is the weird mini-team of Jhamel Thomson, Jeanette Beunindia or however you spell it, April Stone, and Brenda Hernandez.

...Oh, and also that Eloise chick, but she doesn't really count because she's not very interesting.

Man, if these four (I'm sorry, five) weren't as terrible at this game as they are, they would almost be kind of fun to watch! I mean, between the group hug, getting a wrench thrown at them, Jeanette deciding to be a player and only telling April, Brenda being a really terrible Team Mom, Eloise wandering off to die, and brilliant product placement of Cliff Bars, there's something for everyone!

Except intelligent people, who would tell you that forming a supergroup based on two separate teams is stupid, especially when one of those teams (*coughBROWNcough*) has no good weapons, while the other has a gun, a wrench, and a knife between two people. Seriously, Jeanette, Jhamel, I get that you're trying to be nice, but get your shit together and start killing before I get my shit together and change the channel.

There's also the downright bizarre team of Marcus Walker and Anna Higgins. I don't even know where to begin on that one. Just...what? I mean, seriously, what. I really want Marcus to start killing people. If he gets rid of the annoying white girl first, well then...I wouldn't be complaining. Just saying.

Other than that, these team-ups have been pretty dreadful. I mean, it's not that they aren't amusing, it's just that so far really only Karen Ruiz has figured out that teams or not, it's kill or be killed. Why hasn't any full team joined up to start killing? That's what I would do. And hey, think of it this way, you're actually saving lives! More people on your team decide to kill, the more people on your team survive. It's win win!

Seriously folks, get your game on.

Right, well, I've got to go find a way to make Max let me back into our apartment. Until then, follow me on twitter @KittyMcHugh, and stay tuned! I promise more fake awards and wonderful drinking games will abound! Cheers!

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Quickfire Recap (By Location!) by RNN [Part 7]


So I was going to do a run through on everything that happened in this location, but then I went on vacation. Well, I'll quickly recap the most recent stuff as I'm sure most of you already watched the early stuff.

Suzanne Lanford gets robbed by Glen Bole as they both shout out to the blogs. Glen actually succeeded in doing something!

At one point a fight broke out between Zachariah Johnston (Yes him again) and Harold Finston Smythe. They talked crapped against each other while Mae St. Clair watched as Zach brutally killed Harold, from apparently a kick to the groin - which I might add is hilarious. Then Shawn Morrison appears causing Zach to run away in what I can only assume is embarrassment after a *ShawnMorrgasm.

Another attractive guy was also in the rain forest. Mr. Leopold Sutherland walked around shirtless in the jungle. Oh and that was basically the WHOLE Segment. Just walking around shirtless in the jungle. Wonderful.

As we've seen before, Todd Hudson has had bad luck. He was robbed by a monkey of his bandanna and now his clothes! He met up, naked, with another bad luck magnet in Sean Davidson. Then they both run away after Axel Stadler and Anna Higgins from Blue show up and then team up.

Sean runs into Jaszmine Johnson eventually, who for the first time Sean doesn't get into a bad situation with. They eventually part ways, where Jaszmine ends up having the worse luck of the two. Is Sean's bad luck, contagious?

Finally the normally upbeat Mason Ross sings "Lion Sleeps Tonight" for us and then switches into what looks like depression when his partner Kevin Fielding's neck inexplicably blows up for no reason. I'm still trying to figure out what could have caused that. He had his bandanna on, so it couldn't have been that. Whatever the case, poor Mason. Love the boy and his talking to the camera ways.

Star of the Scene: Todd Hudson and his exploits in the rain forest will forever be remembered. He is truly King of the Jungle.


A favorite scene for Nery "If You Can't Stand the Heat" features two comedy characters that are great to see, both of which had been beaten up by Vincent Sullivan and had their noses broken, one worse than the other. They team up in what Nery describes as the greatest alliance in all of SOTF-TV Season 65. They are entertainment gold apparently and together even better.

The scene starts off awkward with both boys meeting up sweaty and shirtless, with Glen Bole attempting to be sexy for the cameras and the smaller Jonas Jeffries stripping to reveal his child like body due to the obvious heat. The mentor speaks and tells them that they are being called 'the gay team' which Jonas and his broken nose takes in quietly and backs away slowly from Glen as a response. Glen on the other hand who is pissed off and starts ranting THEN...

For some weird reason Todd Hudson comes running in naked and jumps into the crater! He screams on his way down and the two boys on Pink team give loud screams of their own. It was a tremendous WTF?! Moment!

Star of the Scene: This is an All Star Cast! The three of them are great comic relief!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Quickfire Recap (By Location!) by RNN [Part 6]


In "Whatcha Gonna Do" the team of Renee Carlson, Timothy Walker, Kathy Clements and Peter Campbell, meet up with Terrilynn Boden. They search around and not much happens until Timothy Walker starts trying to feel up Kathy Clements. Kathy does not like that and pushes him away. Tim gets more than upset at this and snaps at her, pointing his gun at her after being denied. Renee and Lynn were seen walking down to see what the commotion is all about. There is action to come soon!

Star of the Scene: Timothy adds something to what would otherwise be a super friendly group. He brings about some danger and conflict that is always nice to see in the show. His snap after being denied put me on the edge of my seat. Can't wait to see what he does next!


Devonte Washington, Marcus Walker and Skye Thsani have a grand old time, until an accidental shot from Skye's crossbow causes a major conflict. Marcus is fueled in rage after Devonte is hit and chases after Skye.

In another part of the forest, the next day, Mason Ross becomes the first person to be face to face with Karen Ruiz and lives. She doesn't even attack him and she eeriely gives her reasons on why she killed. "The Teams are Fake." What if she's right?

Star of the Scene: Devonte Washington is quite the charming one, even as he bleeds he wants to go out all cool and not like some kind of chump. Sharp tongue on that boy.