Sunday, April 24, 2011

The Fanservice 5! by Hollysparkles

Who's the cutest boy in Season 65!?

OMG Hi you guys, this is HollySparkles here asking the most DUH-TASTIC question of all! Who is the cutest boy on the island? Now, I've like been painstakingly watching like, every second up until this point, and I've totally narrowed it down to these five boys. OMG CHECK OUT THE HAWTNESS:

1. GLD4: Shawn Morrison. OMG you guys you totally knew that I was going to put him first!!!! Here me out though, he's sweet, adorable (those EYES) sensitive, loves animals and had GREAT hair. I think he is a vegetarian which totally just makes him CUTER.

Pros: He is totally chill and sweet and omg. Did you see him give those flowers to Mae? SO ROMANTIC. Like, his eyes again? OMG his eyes.

Cons: That slut Mae St. Clair. He spends way too much time drooling over her (I was crushed when I watched that promo "Rescue Mission" just let the stupid drunk bitch drown!)

Conclusion: I am like, shipping him with only one person, ME. Now drop that stupid whore and get with a girl who REALLY loves you. (Me.)

2. BRN1: Nick Simmons. I know he's like not the most popular choice, but I TOTALLY DIG his blond hair, you know? There are a lot of blondes this season but I think Nick really like hot.

Pros: His hair duuuhhh, but he loves grunge and I am totally all about that. OMG CAN HE PLAY GUITAR? Someone find his facebook page lol.

Cons: He's poor. He's like. Really poor. He also curses a lot and come on how can you take that home to your mother? At least so far he hasn't been horrible or anything in game....which reminds me....

3. YLW5: Jake Langston. Another blonde boy!!! This one is cute (although he looks like, so sad) and he seemed nice in the promos, but now he seems to have a sort of jerk streak. I mean, maybe he just needs the right girl, AM I RIGHT? OMG. <3

Pros: He definitely plays guitar and has adorable eyes. Also super tall.

Cons: I read on some other blog that he had a girlfriend, then omg he mentions that it's Madelyn Connor and they aren't even on the same team. DROP HER. LOL. JUST LIKE, BREAK UP WITH HER. Also, he hasn't gotten off to like, any sort of good start in the game, he was really mean when he waved that gun at Bob Lazenby.

4. PRP5: Sterling Odair. Another one that is like, totally obvious. Sterling has great eyes and omg his hair. You just want to run your fingers through it amiright? I mean like, I heard some things on the internet and this guy is totally for the fanfiction.

Pros: THOSE EYES. Rivaling Shawn Morrison's in how pretty. And THAT HAIR. I'd pay to touch it I think. I would like, totally pay to touch it. ALSO he's bisexual and like, how hot is that? You should ship him with anyone. Like, totally anyone.

Cons: He threw out his asspants. HOW CAN YOU THROW OUT YOUR ASSPANTS, STERLING?

5. W04: Leopold Sutherland. By far the most squeeworthy to me, but then again it's because I like them rich and skinny lol amiright? He's very broody and also blond. Lol what is it with me and blondes?

Pros: Um. RICH? Um. Like, he's like a prince!? Also I think he got a Doctor Who outfit so I've already started a fanfiction where he replaces the doctor.

Cons: So far he's just been brooding on the show, I really really really super can't wait for him to start doing stuff!! Also he threw away his weapon, omg it would have been totally hot if he ran into Sterling with that thing. LOL get it? Ran into? ;-)

So those are my top five picks! Honorable mentions go to: Cesar Perdomo, Skyler Thsani, and Mason Ross. Who are your favorites, viewers? Girls are totally welcome too!!!!


  1. So, just out of curiosity, why on earth would anyone take the time to translate their annoying verbal tics into the written medium? It seems a complete waste of time.

    Also, has anyone else noticed that far more girls than boys actually wear the revealing outfits? I wonder what that says about our society. Probably nothing flattering.

  2. nOOoo00oooOO!!!!! u can't get shawn, he is totally hottt but hes gonna be mine!! you totely got nothing on him t all!!!1

  3. Why was this created? No, seriously, this almost makes me ashamed to have my articles on this blog. Be right back, vomiting in a bucket.

  4. Hey MadMax, you want to know why this was created? Because it's awesome! Seriously man, how can you not like this? It's a mixture of comedy and fap-fuel!

    I, as the most in touch with my inner fangirl will have to do a female one now. And it will be glorious! I'd put pictures, but I dont wanna get sued.

    Anyway, save the projectile vomiting for things that deserve it, like my infamous squick lists!

    Also, TheThingInYellow (Just noticed the Cthullu mythos reference there) it probably shows that the girls are in touch with their sexuality, and unafraid to use all of their advantages. Though, I am disappointed by the hot guys :,(

  5. Also, Kawaii, threesome with you, Holly, and Shawn. R34ing it. Like, as in I'm actually going to write it >:3

    Anyways, my favourite guys and gals have got to be; Shawn, for his straight up smexiness, Mae, because I adore a dominant girl (Not in that way...) and just to throw a curveball into the mix, Fae!Ali

  6. omG Yellow leave me alone I write the way I think because its easier. God if you guys don't have anything nice to say on this blog maybe you sjhouldn't say it ok

  7. Words of wisdom from HollySparkles:

    "God if you guys don't have anything nice to say on this blog maybe you sjhouldn't say it ok"

    "That slut Mae St. Clair."

    "just let the stupid drunk bitch drown!"


    I rest my case.

  8. You know, im sure Mrs.Sparkles was just trying to open a constructive debate about how many (HOT) teenage girls approach this mature fandom and are then immediately flames out, with no attempt at constructive criticism ever being given to them!

    I mean, you are hardly a man untainted by the shipping world. *Cough* I recognised your writing style on AFF *cough*. Atleast try to inject some humour into your flamey "FANGIRLZ SUXORZ" posts, or else you sound like an an asshat. And If there's one thing this fandom needs less of, it's asshattery.

    SOTF IS SRS BUISNESS, amirite?

  9. I think I am being insulted, but I cannot accurately say. Could someone please translate "im sure Mrs.Sparkles was just trying to open a constructive debate about how many (HOT) teenage girls approach this mature fandom and are then immediately flames out, with no attempt at constructive criticism ever being given to them!" for me?

    Also, as to recognizing my writing style, well, you should. It is a common writing style. There is even a name for it: Proper English. You may wish to look into trying it out.

  10. you guys I was just letting everyone know that this is FEMINIST. Everyone's always talkin about the girls and their slutty stripping and I was just trying to turn it around to focus on the BOYS.

  11. Haters gonna hate. Shippers gonna ship. Take the advice of anyone that's ever had a pair of cool shades shopped onto them and deal with it.

  12. One word. YES.

    Oh Holly. You and I are going to be fast friends, I can tell.