Friday, April 22, 2011

Mad Max's Rest of The Crap

Yawn. After the first couple hours, this game is shaping up- just like the last few seasons, to be the who’s who of who cares.

So, in light of this game being full of losers and bigger losers, I’m taking it upon myself to sift through the hours of footage and provide you will my highlight reel of expert opinion.

Welcome, peeps, to Mad Max’s Rest of the Crap.

No insights/interviews/columns today, seeing as everyone's busy watching/writing right now, so you guys will just have to make do with Quickfire crap and the usual stuff I put at the end.

Quickfire Crap:

Best … awkward love triangle goes to Mae St. Clair the hoe, Shawn Morrison the hippie and Zachariah Johnson the Snake-Eater for their surprisingly good scene in the waterfall. Kitty no doubt has Mae stripping DVR’d.

RIP Snake, by the way. You were a true American hero. Goodnight, Sweet Prince.

Worst … way of stealing a bandanna ever, Marvia Jones. Also, ratings and lesbians or not, I may or may not have raged at the stupidity of Natalie Chauncey and Marvia there, so stop sending me your “OMG DID U SEE MARVIA/NATE” messages while drooling at your keyboard.

Seriously, I’m surprised at how quickly people have adjusted to the teams. Actually can’t wait to see how they all form together.

I’d love it if… Ben Grayson would actually use the bandannas to his advantage, rather than just randomly putting one on like a tard.

Please kill… Harold Smythe. There’s no way this guy isn’t going to hurt himself. Also Nate, for taking MDMA from strangers. It’s the nicest way.

No Highight/Darklight of the Night yet, since it’s the morning still. So we’ll have good old Best Start/Worst Start instead.

Best Start: Todd Hudson, for creating a whole bunch of racial arguments on the internet after pulling a Harlem Heat and calling someone the n-word.

Worst Start: Tie: Poor John Benson just can’t catch a break. A fitting punishment for hitting Team Brown’s Mom with a Nerf Gun. Nate Chauncey takes MDMA and gets date raped and robbed. That’s just bad.

Until next week, follow me on twitter at @MadMax3967, send hate mail to electricworry21@gmail.com, and be jealous.

6 comments:

  1. Uh, Max, you sent me that tape, thank you. And I'm just sad she changed so quickly. That geisha outfit was marvelous. Not as cool as the playboy bunny though. (I happen to know you have a picture of that girl in your room. I know Max.)

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  2. On the pills: I think the thing everyone is missing here is just how phenomenally dumb Marvia has been. Sure, Natalie took a pill from a stranger, but Marvia got high knowingly, then got naked and distracted. It is the early game and all, but we have at least one person gunning already, one in the general vicinity, at that (that being what happened to Natalie's bag of clothes and all). Marvia was lucky that no one killed her and her toy. People keep predicting that she will get far, but I see her dying quickly. After all, she stole Natalie's bandanna, but did not bother to take her rifle. That is a poor tactical decision if ever I have seen one.

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  3. Completely agree, Yellow. If you notice I called out both Marvia and Nate for being 'tards there.

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  4. Can't really sympathise with John when it's kind of all his fault, so far. I mean, at least the Marvia/Nate thing took two idiots to pull off, not just one complete wazzock.

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  5. John did, indeed, make a fantastically dumb move there. It seems a lot of people have very poor stress reactions. I wonder what that says about today's society and educational system.

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