Comrade_Snowball's Game Recap #2

Well here it is Ladies and Gentlemen, you’ve waited patiently, and Karen Ruiz has finally delivered! Anthony Rollins is the first cast member to clock out this season, the very first kill of Season 65! And boy what a kill it was. I’ll admit it, I didn’t see this kill coming. The group Anthony was rolling with (Pardon the pun) was very tight. Sterling and Amber were allied with Karen, and I hadn’t expected her to open fire, especially after Amber’s tirade.

But she did anyways, prompting thousands upon thousands of pages of discussion on the official SotF Fan Forums. The twittersphere has been on fire; #KarenRuiz has topped the hashtag list for at least the past three days since the footage went live. People all around the country have been asking, just what is she playing at? Is Karen off her rocker like “Reverand” Smythe? Or is she simply thinking ahead? Could she be going after the ten kills?

I’m sad to see Anthony go. But regardless, his death has certainly left quite an impression on the game. Pink Team was never the strongest team, but they ranked at least Mid-Tier. But now with the loss of Anthony (and the continued stupidity of Jonas, Glen and Ben) they’re looking to be an early out.

Anthony wasn’t the only victim. Karen Ruiz managed to inflict quite the nasty wound to resident lunatic Ali White, blowing a finger clean off. It was a lucky shot that is sure to plague her until her inevitable demise. So far this Season has been rather lax on injuries, again, many people are decrying the slow start, but I’m thinking the exact opposite. Getting to know these characters makes the wounds and the death all the more shocking, and all the more brutal. I know I jumped when Ali was attacked. She’s a loony, (even BEFORE SotF: TV) but she is one of the fan favourites, and I myself have grown particularly fond of watching her exploits.

Speaking of fan favourites, take a look over at the tag list on the sidebar. As you can no doubt see, we’ve got a few notable names already in Season 65. The power trio of Shawn, Mae, and Zach have kept the shipping and fan fiction sections of the forum busy as hell, and it isn’t hard to see why. Interesting to note here, while ShawnxMae is wildly regarded as the better of the pairings, at least in the public eye, a quick look around any SotF fansite will reveal QUITE a lot of ZachxMae shippers on the net. Why is this? I don’t mean to offend here, but I sense some serious wish fulfillment going on.

Zach is the ultimate White Knight, and judging from the pre-game footage gathered he’s been harbouring a major crush on Mae for months, maybe years. Mae St. Clair is, to be blunt, beautiful. She’s witty and nice, and more importantly for the fans out there, she talks to Zach, the social challenged boy that he is, and even MORE importantly, she treats him with respect. When SotF was in the early stages, it first caught hold on the internet; the chans and the “nerd” demographic took hold of it and made it their own. This was their show, their chance to dream. What would it be like to kill your enemies, kill anyone who’s ever hated you? It’s one of the things so appealing about SotF: TV, the revenge and the righteous anger dealt out with no penalty. Zach has been aptly dubbed “The Love Martyr”, and he’s one of us. Anyone who’s ever fallen head over heels in love, everyone in the dark corners of the net who’ve been picked on and persecuted, they’re in Zach’s corner. When you think about it, we’ve all got a little bit of Zach in us. While you might not hear him talked about much in public rest assured, he’s a fan favourite. It’s too early to declare him my favourite, but he ranks up with Ali as a definite favourite, at least for me.

As you can see from the tags, other popular students include Marvia Jones, Panya Bishara and Sidney Rice. It’d rather obvious as to why; Marvia’s sex scene has easily been the most overplayed clip this season. Panya Bishara is another hottie, and Sidney has spent her game thus far bouncing around in a bunny costume. Ahhh fan service.

Little note on Marvia and Sidney here. While Panya has remained mostly neutral at this point (Debate is still raging on whether she is playing or not). Marvia has clearly shown she’s got a villainous streak going, beating on Nate Chauncey, stealing her things and then allying with the clearly insane Harold Smythe. (Who might win the record for fastest mental breakdown in SotF: TV, ever!) Sidney likewise, is clearly playing from her actions on the cruise ship. Often times on SotF we find girls who try to strike that ever so desired “Femme Fatale” status, utilizing looks and violence in equal measure to win the game. It’s never been truly achieved, although many have gotten close. Could this be their strategy?

Looks like we’ll have to stay tuned to find out!

I thank you once more for your continued reading! Feel free to voice your opinion down in the comments! This is Comrade_Snowball, signing off!

Survival of the Best Dressed...

Our latests poll results have closed, and viewers have weighed in!

This week, we decided to ask you a rather humorous question, "Who's got the best threads?" Fan Service costumes have been a staple for SotF since early seasons, and we always get a few students who decide to suit up. This year it's no different, at this stage in the game no less then 7 students have worn their new duds, and it is truly a sight to behold. From Hula Girls to Geisha's, the cast of Season 65 have been giving us quite a few laughs in between the action.

Now, on to the results!

1) Panya Bishara - 28%

2) Sidney Rice - 21%

3) Jeanette Buendia - 14%

4) Shawn Morrison - 12%

5) Mae St. Clair - 10%

6) Nate Chauncey - 7%

7) Bob Lazenby - 5%

Panya and Sidney blew the competition away, Panya with her adorable (and oddly attractive) Smokey the Bear duds, and Sidney in her Playboy Bunny costume!

Not much to analysis about these poll results, but thanks anyway for everyone who voted! Another will be up soon.

The SotF Drinking Game! (Rules by SickKitty)

Hello lovelies! Okay, for those of you following me on Twitter, you know that I've been spending most of Day 1 completely and utterly drunk. Why? Because I've been developing the super secret ultra drinking game! This year we had a lot of good rules floating around, but I've narrowed it down to the absolute BEST ways to get as hammered as possible. Ready? Let's go!

(A note. Do NOT do all of these at one time, or else your liver will start to look like mine. And that's not a good thing darlings.)

Alright. Here be the rules!

1. Take a shot everytime someone changes clothes. Into an outfit, out of an outfit, doesn't matter. If clothes are coming off, shots are going down.

2. Take a shot everytime Zach Johnson gets overshadowed by the sexy godliness that is Shawn Morrison.

3. Take a shot everytime someone makes an absolutely awful pun. Announcers, mentors, and students are all fair game for this one, as are bloggers, Twitters, commentators- ANYONE MAKING A PUN WILL RESULT IN A SHOT.

4. Take a shot everytime someone from Detroit drops an n-bomb.

5. Take three shots everytime from Silver Dragon drops an n-bomb.

IF DRINKING WITH FRIENDS:

6. Everytime Shawn Morrison appears onscreen, the last person to yell DIRTY HIPPIE must take a shot.

7. Everytime Sidney Rice appears on screen, everyone must scream a month in consecutive order. (So the first time she appears, January, the second, February). The person who says December must down 4 shots.

8. Everytime someone speaks in a language other than English, pour a shot into the communal glass.

9. Everytime someone fires a gun and misses, pour a shot into the communal glass.

10. Everytime someone says something along the lines of "I never thought this would happen to me" or "I don't want to be here" pour two shots into the communal glass.

11. Everytime Ben Grayson switches bandanna's, pour a shot into the communal glass.

12. Everyone pick a team. If the first person to die was on the team you picked, you must down the entire communal glass. (Pick well dearies, this one'll hurt.)

13. Take a shot everytime someone kills someone else. If the person has killed more than one person, take a shot for every person they killed. (So if it's their fourth kill, four shots.)

14. And FINALLY, the last person to pass out must drink the rest of whatever you're drinking. Because otherwise you're no fun.

Righto! If you're still alive in the morning, you can start all over again! Have fun, and take lots of pills for those wicked hangovers! Till next time, this is SickKitty signing out!

"To the Haters..." Written by MidnightQ

BEGIN TRANSMISSION

Hello again readers,

It’s that time again. Once more, MidnightQ is here to give you a different perspective on the life and times of the innocent little children participating in this season of SOTF-TV. (Let’s put aside the fact that children are not innocent and are in fact just as capable of being bad as adults are, shall we?) There are still many people convinced that people, particularly children, don’t deserve to be put on the show. These people make arguments and cite statistics and provide analogies and examples to persuade others that they are correct. I would like to try my hand at accomplishing the opposite. Yes, I’m going to show you why the kids on the current season deserve to be here. (It’s an experiment in futility, but I’m sure it will be at least somewhat amusing.) For this experiment, I’ve decided to use the situation in the Cruise Ship as my proof. Let’s take a look and see why those kids actually deserve to be where they are right now.

First off: a rundown of the participants. We have, in as close to chronological order as a simultaneous broadcast of events can be, Sidney Rice, Joshua Doyle, Jonas Jeffries, Vincent Sullivan, and David Myerez. (I still don’t know how to pronounce your last name David. And that irks me.) Now, we have three students from Silver Dragon Academy, and two from Detroit Central High. Expectations of school allegiances are quickly thrown out the window. Of course, why would we expect such allegiances to last in the face of the game, particularly when guns are involved? What began with an execution scenario with two students became a standoff with the arrival of the third. That standoff in turn become complete chaos as the fourth and fifth arrived. From my observations, I see that these kids truly have no idea what they are doing. Yet, the game mentality seems to override things like common sense and logic. Once thrown into a scenario of kill or be killed, these children drop all pretense of societal norms and think nothing of playing the game. How easy it is to throw away basic human decency, am I correct, kids? (To be frank: if they didn’t, they’d die.)

Speaking of human decency, how long did it take Miss Rice to toss out modesty? Really Sidney? Is there something your parents need to know? Because I see little reason for a rich girl from Texas dressing up like a Playboy Bunny for kicks. (I assume she’s rich. All of the kids from SDA are, I think. I’ll double check later.) Though I suppose when you are all about to die in most likely an incredibly gruesome manner, that’s excusable. Except, of course, that it most certainly is not. Or take Mister Jeffries for example. How much time did he spend weighing the morality of threatening other people with a fully automatic weapon? Did you think it through at all? Did it occur to you at any point that you have a fully loaded deadly weapon, the express purpose of said weapon being to kill people? And how long did it take Mister Doyle to ditch his classmates? How long did it take for Mister Myerez to attack Mister Jeffries? Or for Mister Sullivan to threaten, and startle, him into causing the chaotic fiasco that I am going over again and again? These children have abandoned all sense of humanity. The game mentality has taken them over, whether consciously or not.

So do these kids deserve to be there? Do they deserve to be put into scenarios like the one they found themselves in? For the sake of this argument: yes they do, because they serve as an example of our basest human nature. For when we highly civilized people are put into an area where morality is meaningless and survival is always on the line, then we quickly become conductors of chaos. This in itself is not a bad thing. It reminds us that at our cores, we are truly no better or no worse than anyone else. In truth, everyone deserves to be put into that kind of situation. We should be thankful that we aren’t. Now, I have here in my possession a number of statistics that can back up my claims that humans are merely repressed monsters. However, I’m running out of interest and I honestly don’t believe that at all. (As I said, this is an exercise in futility.) This glimpse into the game really only served as a reminder that no matter the person, anyone can and will play the game when put into it. And that’s why SOTF-TV exists. To let people play the game, and to let everyone else have their fun enjoying it played. It’s a wonderful symbiosis of violence and euphoric response to it, isn’t it?

END TRANSMISISON

"The Camwhore Curse"

The latest poll results have just finished up here on Survival of the Snarkiest! Many thanks to all our voters. And now, for the results!

1) Jeanette Buendia

2) Marvia Jones

3) Mae St. Clair

3) Timothy Walker

3) Panya Bishara

4) Bobby Goldman

4) Glen Bole

4) Harold Smythe

4) Nate Chauncey

5) Sidney Cole

Unlike last time, our results were pretty clear. Jeanette and Marvia quickly shot to the top of the poll. Jeanette via her beach striptease and hula wearing adventures, Marvia for the now infamous "Drug-Sex" scene with Nate Chauncey. Although Marvia put up a fight, Jeanette managed to extend an early lead and come out victorious.

Interesting to note the low ranking of all the males. Yes, it's true that "Camwhore" mainly refers to fan service, but I'd make an argument that Timothy Walker's camera talk makes him far more guilty of "Camwhore" behavior then most, and out of all those tied for third place I personally believe he deserved to medal.

Now, many were opposed to running such a poll so early in the competition, but there were several reasons for this, most importantly the often mentioned "Camwhore Curse". A trend noticed on several reputable SotF blogs (Notably MarWIN's) shows most if not all students displaying "Camwhore" tendencies die out well before the halfway point. In a game like SotF there is no room for mistakes, and those who are intent on hogging screen time often make critical errors.

Time to weigh in on the matter SotF fans. Does this Poll speak truth? Are the front runners doomed to die? Any likely subversions? Comment below!

Comrade_Snowball's Game Recap #1 Stray Observations

Stray Observations

Idiotic players weren’t the only thing I noticed. Take a look at some of the other things that’ve caught my attention!

- Marvia Jones and Natalie Chauncey – you knew I was bound to mention this scene; it’s one for the highlight reel. Sex scenes are always common, but sex on ecstasy? Marvia propelled her popularity into the stratosphere with that choice. She’s unleashed a torrent of fanfics, pairing her with everyone from Jared Clayton to Alicia White! I’m quite sure no one expected the ending to that. Natalie won’t die from not wearing a bandanna, but she’s definitely going to have some problems linking with her team, what with Marvia now impersonating her. Marvia, definitely a late-gamer and one to watch.

- As I’ve noted before, the weaker teams are clearly becoming visible. Black Team and Grey Team have had several early game bumps, and Green Team still has that mentor handicap to get over.

- Bobby Goldman and Axel Stadler have proven to be quite brilliant strategists, displaying a knack for creative thinking when it comes to scavenging for supplies and making due with what they have. I expect a real fight from them.

- Sidney Rice, Timothy Walker and Karen Ruiz have established themselves as early game players. Not sure what exactly Jonas Jeffries plan is, (his actions are a little too bizarre and I can’t peg him down as a villain or not) but it is fairly obvious from Sidney’s behaviour she was looking for a kill on Joshua Doyle. I didn’t expect Karen Ruiz to swing toward murder quite so fast, if at all. Definitely a bonus to the Purple Team, one I did not count on initially.

- Timothy Walker is proving to be an absolute joy to watch, and a natural on camera. So many students forget the cameras’ are there, but following him it seems like everything is one big joke, and the viewer is the only one in on it. Aside from him of course. Pure gold, that kid.

- I was pleased to see some students actually showing an appreciation for their costumes. Mae St. Clair in full Kimono was a sight for the ages, (as was her stripping shortly after) and Sidney and Panya Bishara look to have no intention of ditching their respective costumes.

- Alicia White has proven to be quite the spacey one, nearly getting her head blown off after forgetting to affix her bandanna. Really? Liability if I ever saw one.

- Some students have been noticeably absent so far. Lost in the jungle perhaps?

That’s all for now folks. Stay tuned to Survival of the Snarkiest for more coverage!

Yellow Team Analysis by paxRomana

Yellow Team - An Objective Analysis

Not going to waste your time with a long foreword, but I just want to preface this with something of a caveat. You've probably already wondered "Who the hell is this paxRomana person?", and thus realised, yeah, I'm new around these parts. But I saw this new blog starting up and I thought why the hell not, good clean slate for a newfag to start on. Anyway, I am this paxRomana person, and here's an analysis of the Yellow Team from the most impartial perspective I can manage.

The Mentor - HOWARDS, Wilson

Obligatory sponsorship circlejerk, this time it's Verizon showing off how fantastically non-existent their signal is on the island, which is somehow relevant to how good it's meant to be elsewhere? I don't know. He's your archetypical middle-aged executive, probably plays golf every weekend and has 2.4 children. Not sure how much use he'll be to the team, on one hand he's got the organisation and discipline skills from climbing the corporate ladder, but on the other, he probably never bothered to watch the show before now and may or may not have been shoved into it at the last minute. It'll be interesting to see how he handles it, really.

Player One - THSANI, Skyler "Skye"

Unpronounceable surname aside, this one's got promise. Looks fit and healthy, has the sex appeal down for fangirl purposes, but looks a bit on the vain side as well, so that might prove a problem early on before he gets over himself and gets his hands dirty. Looking at his grades, he seems pretty booksmart too, so combined with the physical advantages, I wouldn't be surprised to see Skyler become the de-facto leader of Team Happyface. On the other hand, stress and alcoholism look like pretty big thorns in his side, so if he can't link up with his team and rely on them for support, he might just screw up on the first day and never have a chance to use all that potential. Hopefully not, he could go all the way, given half the chance.

Weapon: Composite Crossbow. Not a great draw, but it could be worse (like Leo's dildo), and the ammo might be re-usable, so that's always a plus. Could let him down with the reload time, but for ease of use and quietness, it might prove surprisingly dangerous.

Player Two - JONES, Odile

From unpronounceable surname to entirely random forename, we have another promising contestant. Main advantages seem to rest on her figure, creeping people the fuck out makes for a good kind of psychological warfare, and the weird double-jointed thing's got to come in handy in a scuffle. Aside from that, she knows how to work a crowd and bear physical discomfort, so manipulation and pain-resisting opportunities abound. Only real downside is, of course, a scared kid's gonna see Spider-Woman here and probably freak out and open fire. Hard to say how she'll do, but most definitely one to watch, if only for weird theatricality.

Weapon: Roll of Duct-Tape. Could have it's uses, but dubious at best. Odile's going to need to pick up something better double-quick, or she's buggered in the long run.

Player Three - RICE, Sidney

One of the two SDA kids on the team, Sidney's looking like a major weak link. Small and unathletic, the latter because she's asthmatic, so we can put a big X in the physically overpowering anybody box. And if previous seasons are anything to go by, even if she can scheme her way to the endgame, there's never any talking your way past the finale. It's almost always a brawl. Then again, if she survives with the rest of her team intact too, there might just be hope. Speaking of teams, she seems like the cunning sort, and whilst that might sound great, she's also a major griefer, and probably won't play nice with the rest of Team Yellow, and if she does, falling in line behind any leader that isn't herself seems unlikely.

Weapon: Jericho .941. Very decent draw on this one, the kids with "standard" handguns always seem to go far. Just a matter of putting a bullet in someone with a bigger gun that isn't paying attention, and you're on your way to a small arsenal - a potential godsend for her worse-armed teammates.

Player Four - WALKER, Marcus

What can I say? He's tall and well built without being too bulky, he's got sleight of hand and attention to detail, and thanks to sports he's fit to boot. Normally I'd say major contender, but all of that just makes him a major target, too. While Skye is dangerous but doesn't look it, Marcus here's surname might as well be Fenix, for the air of "I'll fuck you up" he's going to exude in-game. Worse still? He's got anger management issues. Someone's going to point out all of the above, he'll snap and start a fight he won't win, calling it. Aside from this, looks like pretty standard dumb muscle for the team; not a great leader, but he doesn't need to be, and easily lead, which might come in handy as an example to Sidney if she acts up.

Weapon: Airzooka. While Odile's gaffa tape might have some non-combat applications, this just looks like distraction material, nothing more. Not that distractions haven't come in handy in the past, and a good bait-and-switch plan could catch the overconfident ones out.

Player Five - LANGSTON, Jacob

The second SDA kid on the team, Jacob's quite the opposite of his peer. He's tall and lean, fit from swimming and has that wonderful unthreatening look to him, which is almost guaranteed to have a use at some point. Good contestant for fangirl-favourite against Skyler, too, what with the grungy "I don't give a fuck" look and the blond-hair-blue-eyes thing he has going on. Mind-wise, he might run into some problems with the haemophobia, not to mention the implied pacifism, but if he snaps he could be at least a decent dark-horse player. Might have problems if he gets an infection, too, but most players that get injured that badly end up dead for other reasons anyway.

Weapon: Sig Sauer P226. Another good pistol for the team, and apparently in good hands, if knowing one's way around a rifle translates well to other firearms. Same conclusions as with Sidney, really.

Overall Conclusion:
Strong team, two really good weapons, one potentially-amazing but otherwise decent one, and two not particularly great. Only one weak link amongst the students themselves, but not cripplingly so. Mentor's a bit of a wild card, probably won't be nearly as good as some of the others (read, Jared/Marvin/That Soldier), but might turn out okay.
Definitely worth watching, one of the more likely teams to not only go far, but go far with all five of them intact. An endgame with this lot would be a treat.