Showing posts with label Jaszmine Johnson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jaszmine Johnson. Show all posts

Thursday, August 11, 2011

SickKitty Bitches About Teams

Right. So after the temporary delay in your regularly scheduled "me yelling at you all for being idiots" because of a broken laptop, a very small drug induced coma, and Max being a complete and utter asshole, I'm back! And I'm here to fill your lives with my wonderful bitching! Huzzah!

Let's talk about the fake teams, shall we? Several groups of wanna be survivors have grouped together despite the fact that they should be murdering each other. Among them is the mess that is Shawn Morrison and Ben Whatshisface.

After a while of Ben being completely stupid with his weapon (an entire bag of bandannas), he figured out how to use it to his advantage, and is now lying to Shawn and saying that they're on the same team. Shawn has no reason not to believe this, despite the fact that his mentor pretty much told him not to trust Ben. In fairness though, that mentor talks in the most complicated ways. Stupid, really. If Shawn was on Jarred's team, then Ben would be dead. However, this already fragile alliance got even more fragile after Shawn murdered Jaszmine Johnson with a snake.

Actually, that reminds me! The Most Amusing Kill Thusfar Award goes to Shawn for that display! Snake death. Who woulda thought?

What was I saying? Oh, yeah. Basically, if Shawn doesn't figure out by morning that Ben- who now has a gun- isn't on his team, then it's because Ben finally did something smart and murdered him.

Or because Shawn is a stoner and most of his braincells are really quite dead.

Moving on!

Up next is the weird mini-team of Jhamel Thomson, Jeanette Beunindia or however you spell it, April Stone, and Brenda Hernandez.

...Oh, and also that Eloise chick, but she doesn't really count because she's not very interesting.

Man, if these four (I'm sorry, five) weren't as terrible at this game as they are, they would almost be kind of fun to watch! I mean, between the group hug, getting a wrench thrown at them, Jeanette deciding to be a player and only telling April, Brenda being a really terrible Team Mom, Eloise wandering off to die, and brilliant product placement of Cliff Bars, there's something for everyone!

Except intelligent people, who would tell you that forming a supergroup based on two separate teams is stupid, especially when one of those teams (*coughBROWNcough*) has no good weapons, while the other has a gun, a wrench, and a knife between two people. Seriously, Jeanette, Jhamel, I get that you're trying to be nice, but get your shit together and start killing before I get my shit together and change the channel.

There's also the downright bizarre team of Marcus Walker and Anna Higgins. I don't even know where to begin on that one. Just...what? I mean, seriously, what. I really want Marcus to start killing people. If he gets rid of the annoying white girl first, well then...I wouldn't be complaining. Just saying.

Other than that, these team-ups have been pretty dreadful. I mean, it's not that they aren't amusing, it's just that so far really only Karen Ruiz has figured out that teams or not, it's kill or be killed. Why hasn't any full team joined up to start killing? That's what I would do. And hey, think of it this way, you're actually saving lives! More people on your team decide to kill, the more people on your team survive. It's win win!

Seriously folks, get your game on.

Right, well, I've got to go find a way to make Max let me back into our apartment. Until then, follow me on twitter @KittyMcHugh, and stay tuned! I promise more fake awards and wonderful drinking games will abound! Cheers!

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Quickfire Recap (By Location!) by RNN [Part 7]

RAIN FOREST:

So I was going to do a run through on everything that happened in this location, but then I went on vacation. Well, I'll quickly recap the most recent stuff as I'm sure most of you already watched the early stuff.

Suzanne Lanford gets robbed by Glen Bole as they both shout out to the blogs. Glen actually succeeded in doing something!

At one point a fight broke out between Zachariah Johnston (Yes him again) and Harold Finston Smythe. They talked crapped against each other while Mae St. Clair watched as Zach brutally killed Harold, from apparently a kick to the groin - which I might add is hilarious. Then Shawn Morrison appears causing Zach to run away in what I can only assume is embarrassment after a *ShawnMorrgasm.

Another attractive guy was also in the rain forest. Mr. Leopold Sutherland walked around shirtless in the jungle. Oh and that was basically the WHOLE Segment. Just walking around shirtless in the jungle. Wonderful.

As we've seen before, Todd Hudson has had bad luck. He was robbed by a monkey of his bandanna and now his clothes! He met up, naked, with another bad luck magnet in Sean Davidson. Then they both run away after Axel Stadler and Anna Higgins from Blue show up and then team up.

Sean runs into Jaszmine Johnson eventually, who for the first time Sean doesn't get into a bad situation with. They eventually part ways, where Jaszmine ends up having the worse luck of the two. Is Sean's bad luck, contagious?

Finally the normally upbeat Mason Ross sings "Lion Sleeps Tonight" for us and then switches into what looks like depression when his partner Kevin Fielding's neck inexplicably blows up for no reason. I'm still trying to figure out what could have caused that. He had his bandanna on, so it couldn't have been that. Whatever the case, poor Mason. Love the boy and his talking to the camera ways.

Star of the Scene: Todd Hudson and his exploits in the rain forest will forever be remembered. He is truly King of the Jungle.

HOT SPOT:

A favorite scene for Nery "If You Can't Stand the Heat" features two comedy characters that are great to see, both of which had been beaten up by Vincent Sullivan and had their noses broken, one worse than the other. They team up in what Nery describes as the greatest alliance in all of SOTF-TV Season 65. They are entertainment gold apparently and together even better.

The scene starts off awkward with both boys meeting up sweaty and shirtless, with Glen Bole attempting to be sexy for the cameras and the smaller Jonas Jeffries stripping to reveal his child like body due to the obvious heat. The mentor speaks and tells them that they are being called 'the gay team' which Jonas and his broken nose takes in quietly and backs away slowly from Glen as a response. Glen on the other hand who is pissed off and starts ranting THEN...

For some weird reason Todd Hudson comes running in naked and jumps into the crater! He screams on his way down and the two boys on Pink team give loud screams of their own. It was a tremendous WTF?! Moment!

Star of the Scene: This is an All Star Cast! The three of them are great comic relief!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The Fan Favorites

We've all seen the polls before, "Who's the first out", "Who's going to win it all", the standard stuff that's brought up every SotF Season. And baring a few notable cases, we've had clear frontrunner's, day in and day out. It might not always come true (Which is the beauty of SotF), but at least the fan base can decide on something.

Not this time around! With the introduction of teams, all the odds-makers in Vegas are scrambling to rework their system, and it looks like the fan base is equally divided!

And at the end of the day, Red Team, Yellow Team, Purple Team and Team 13 are locked in a four-way tie for first, in the first ever Survival of the Snarkiest "Front Runner Poll".

Every team is (still) at full strength, and it's hard to tell who'll come out on top. All of these teams have had a strong start (Especially Purple and Red, Karen Ruiz and Marvia Jones looking extremely proactive out there.)

While we can't tell the winner just yet, the stragglers are becoming apparent. Grey Team garnered zero votes, sitting in dead last. Can't really blame that choice, with the loss of their sole weapon, they're looking very shaky. Also near the bottom of the poll was the Blue Team. I'm going to have to dispute this slightly, while Joshua Doyle and Anna Higgins have shown their red shirts, Jasz and Axel have proven to be quite useful thus far. Lou Becker seems to be AWOL at the moment, judging from lack of footage. Would two team members be enough to carry Blue Team to the finals though? Unless we see a change of course, it's looking grim for them.

Can they turn it around? We'll just have to watch and see!

FULL RESULTS

1) Red Team
1) Purple Team
1) Team 13
1) Yellow Team
2) Pink Team
3) Green Team
3) Brown Team
4) Orange Team
4) White Team
4) Black Team
4) Gold Team
5) Blue Team
6) Grey Team

N/A Loner Boy - (Not Polled;Survival Percentage currently hovering around 1.5%)

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Blue Team Analysis by sotf67

BLUE TEAM ANALYSIS

Most of you guys probably don't know me, being a newbie to the SOTF-TV blogging scene and all, but I figured that I should probably make at least some kind of contribution to the blog instead of simply lurking around and cursing out fangirls (and speaking of cursing out fangirls, I'll apologize to yofu, kawaii!!sotf, that was definitely uncalled for on my part). And thus, I decided to write this analysis. You guys *probably* won't really enjoy reading this, but if you enjoy bland and informative analyses then this is probably for you. But hey, at least it's here.

MENTOR: MARIE ROUX

GENERAL: The Blue Team's mentor is Marie Roux, a minor French diplomat to the UN, and apparently a huge SOTF-TV fan who has gone as far to propose a multinational version of the show where students from each country compete on the behalf of their nation. (That's a great way to earn brownie points in the international community, ask countries to send their teenagers to death *and* make it based on an American game show!) Besides that, there's not too much to say about her, besides the fact that whoever compiled the SOTF-TV character profiles is a failure at research for giving her the label "The Foreign Ambassador", since ambassador is the highest ranking representative of a nation and it's explicitly stated that she's a minor diplomat. But whatever, that's neither here nor there.

PROS: OK, I really don't see much here that's going for her. Sure, she's definitely determined to win, but determination is something that helps with other game-winning attributes, not THE game-winning attribute. She's probably good at negotiating with people and influencing them, being a diplomat, but that's really not going to help here since action is almost always the deciding factor in SOTF-TV. And... well... that's about it.

CONS: Although she doesn't really have many pros, Madame Roux here doesn't seem to have any glaring flaws either. Yes she doesn't have much practical experience, but then again, barely any of the mentors do. Perhaps only thing that really contrasts with the others is that she'd be content with "putting on a good show" - meaning that she might simply choose to go out with a boom rather than actually playing it out the boring but rational way that gets people to the end. It's really hard to know, though, so just keep watching.

OVERVIEW: An OK mentor, I suppose, not a good one, not a bad one. She doesn't have the skills of Lt. Colonel Whatshisname, the experience of Jared, or the endless analysis of MarWIN, but at least she's not Susan Crawford. Still, overall she's probably tilted more to the useless side, but you can't really know until she gets into action.

STUDENT ONE: JASZMINE JOHNSON

GENERAL: Jaszmine is the first of the Blue Team students, from Detroit Central High. She's apparently a bit cynical due to one minor bout of job loss and depression by her father, and yet wants help the world though... using fashion design to make donations to charity? What? Excuse my tangent, but that's really as hopelessly naive as it gets, charity hardly ever helps anyone. Ever heard the old adage "greed is good"? It's true in SOTF-TV, and it's true in real life. There's actually nothing else to say about her in general, that's pretty much it about her.

PROS: Well, first off, she's determined and a hard worker. Like I said before of Madame Roux, "determination is something that helps with other game-winning attributes, not THE game-winning attribute". That, and the fact that she has a gun, which now makes her a definite candidate to survive to midgame, at the very least. (Most people who draw a gun do.) And, of course, her determination is now worth ever so much more - good weapon + determination = very potent combination. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised at all if she survives to endgame, I don't see an easy out in her.

CONS: She's cynical, so she might have trouble making allies and cooperating with others. That's about the only "disadvantage" I could glean from her profile, really. In a regular game, this would really not be a problem, and even might be an advantage, as all people in a regular age ARE indeed guided by self interest, but this is a team game, which necessitates cooperation. Her teammates are also not exactly top-tier, and if the girl with the best weapon in the team can't cooperate with them then there could be trouble.

OVERVIEW: Good draw and great determination makes her a decent candidate for surviving until endgame. However, in a team game her cynical attitude might come back to bite her in the back. She can bring this team either up or down - she's got the best draw out of all of them, and could be the top performer, but her attitude might be what breaks the team apart, especially because of her draw. Still, definitely going to be an interesting watch.

STUDENT TWO: ANNA HIGGINS

GENERAL: Another DCH student. Apparently her parents got separated shortly after she was born, and her mother then remarried. She managed to avoid problematic situations in an environment like Detroit by watching television and learning about these things without actually encountering them (I'm being serious here) to the point of being '"raised by the television". Normally, I would make a joke about us being SOTF-TV addicts and all, but there are *certain* people in the fan community who take the whole thing so seriously that they can't take a joke. Finally, she also took an interest in art, movies, drama, and music, so she's definitely a right-brain kind of person. That about sums it up.

PROS: Really not much going for her. She's definitely creative, but that almost never makes an impact on SOTF-TV unless they go and "create" a way to escape. She's also supposed to have some guaranteed allies, but this isn't much of a benefit in a team game where everyone has guaranteed allies, and could end up detrimental in the sense that she might end up needing to kill these "guaranteed allies". Also, apparently not many people dislike her (not important when half the people don't know you), and can lie well (which often ends badly in SOTF-TV). Yay.

CONS: She's apparently supposed to be loud and annoying, which is not a good thing when your on a team. Did I mention she has a bad draw? And when you can't get along well with others on a team and have a bad draw, well, that's not a good thing. Because of her loudness, she's not good at hiding, which is a bad thing in SOTF-TV when simply hiding can save your life half of the time if you can suck in your pride (which you should). Finally, and most importantly, she's out of shape due to having a sedentary lifestyle, which of course is not a good thing in a heavily physical activity like SOTF-TV. Yeah, it's a bit ironic for people like us to by typing that, but I'm not the one on the island, at least not this year.

OVERVIEW: Not seeing good chances in this one. Her disadvantages greatly outweigh her advantages, and I'm seeing more of a liability to the team then anything. Still, you never know, the artistic/creative types have a tendency to surprise us, it's not a rare occurrence to have one of the top-tier killers or escape artists of the season to be an overlooked artist.

STUDENT THREE: JOSHUA DOYLE

GENERAL: Joshua is one of two students in Team Blue from Silver Dragon Academy (SDA), the other school with students participating in SOTF-TV. Tangent time - What kind of idiot makes the business decision to allow your students to participate in a game show where most (if not all) of your students will die, and also let a teacher participate as a mentor? It's a private school, people, the government may be backing up the show but ultimately whoever owns the school decides. I'm guessing there were bribes involved, but the enrollment at SDA will drop like flies, I assure you. But anyways, Joshua Doyle. He's good academically and something of a nerd if you care to use that word. Before someone tries to say it's ironic that I'm saying that, don't forget we're geeks on this website, not nerds, although I might be considered both. More importantly, however, he also got very severe anger management problems, and requires medicine to keep them in check. Watching people without medicine snap - one of the great pleasures of SOTF-TV. That's all that's of interest about him.

PROS: He learns quickly and thinks logically, that's good. However, much as people like to try to think otherwise, skill (and weapons, for that matter) in SOTF-TV is about what you've got at the start, not about what you get over time, either you survive the crucial early game or you don't. Decent memory as well, but I don't see that helping much to be completely honest. His weapon's not horrible, but not great either. It does put him above all the others who've drawn complete junk, though, I'll say that much.

CONS: Ah, where to begin, where to begin? First off, his anger management problems, he's not going to be getting any medication on his island and seeing him explode will be quite amusing. Of course, it'll also be quite detrimental, too, anger is no substitute for skill and calm, rational thinking in battle, as we've seen so many times before in SOTF-TV. His weapon's not exactly a good thing to be using while angry, either. He's also somewhat weak arm-wise, which isn't good, especially without a decent gun.

OVERVIEW: Joshua's disadvantages greatly outweigh his advantages, as he's got anger management problems and dependency to medicines to control it to boot! Definitely going to be amusing to watch him lose his head in anger, idiomatically and maybe even literally. I definitely predict he'll get "Most Amusing Death", folks.

STUDENT FOUR: AXEL STADLER

GENERAL: The last of the DCHers here in Blue Team. He's apparently very dynamic personality-wise, and something of a loner. Also, he's the second cynic in this team, along with Jaszimine of course. He's also a pragmatist as well, choosing solely based on reason. When he talks to others, he's brutally honest and wants everyone else to do the same. Interestingly, he believes that everyone has "layers" and that he simply has more of them then others, whatever that might mean. He's also a big SOTF-TV fan, it's always fun to have 'em. Along the way, he's picked up decent reflexes and knife skills, so he's not totally lacking in valuable skills. Finally, he's got insomnia and is a bit paranoid in the dark, so a very interesting combination of traits overall.

PROS: Pragmatism is always a good thing on SOTF-TV, the people who tend to die the most are the most inflexible ones. Reflexes and weapons skills are good, even if it's only with a knife, as I've said before, the skill you start with is the skill that will carry you through. If only he started with Joshua's weapon, though, his skills would be usable immediately and with a decent weapon to boot. Finally, he's got knowledge of SOTF-TV, which is always a sizable benefit, although not as much as some would like to think (I'm looking at you, MarWIN).

CONS: He's not a team player. That's never really a good thing when you're playing a team game, obviously. He's a bit lacking in strength, but that's not a huge problem when he's got some speed and dexterity to back him up. Insomnia is also not a good thing, alertness is crucial when you're in SOTF-TV. His paranoia in the darkness may not be as detrimental as one may think, though, it could very will help counteract his insomnia, although it might just make him lose sleep for no reason at all. Also, his weapon sucks.

OVERVIEW: Definitely an interesting person, could go either way. Probably not exactly endgame material, but he might be able to get to the midgame and provide us with a couple of interesting scenes. If he can get his knowledge to work, then he might be able to get a little further, but only might. Not going to make any predictions on this guy, he's totally unpredictable in many ways more then one. Still, maybe one, as I have a feeling his lack of willingness to work as a team will hurt him...

STUDENT FIVE: LOU BECKER

OVERVIEW: The last member of the team and the second SDAer in the team. Note that he's a guy, no matter how his name might fool you. Apparently an early adopter of SOTF-TV, like many of us here, and actually apparently did a SOTF-TV blog once. Not as successful as ours, though, not by a long show. It's actually still floating around on the internet somewhere, google "Lou Becker SOTF-TV blog" if you want to see it for yourself. Also likes violent video games and the infamous place we all know and fear known as /b/. Also, he says he's got nothing to look forward to in life, and shuts himself from the outside world, just waiting for high school to be over. Again, I REALLY want to make a joke here but I know how that'll end, so that's a no-no.

PROS: Well, he's very knowledgeable about SOTF-TV, which like I've said before is a benefit but not as much as one might think. Also is "intelligent", but intellect doesn't count for much when you're on the other end of a gun. The machete's an OK weapon, at least it's usable. That's it, really. Nope, he doesn't have much going for him.

CONS: He's fat and out of shape, which is always a bad thing when you're up in close combat or trying to avoid getting shot or one of the other hundred things you need to do in SOTF-TV that needs at least some physical fitness. He's also unpopular and anti-social, which of course is less of a problem in a team game then a regular game due to the already guaranteed. Still, he needs to at least get along with his teammates, and being antisocial doesn't really help.

OVERVIEW: Yet another liability to the team. He's got nothing the team needs and isn't much of a team player, and he's not very fit and likely to slow them down. Another early out, maybe another of the team members could use the machete. Really not much more to say about him, besides that anyone who says SOTF-TV knowledge is a gamewinning is horribly, horribly, wrong.

TEAM OVERVIEW

Blue Team is not horrible, as far as teams go, they have a couple of decent people and at least one gun. The mentor and some of the students are a bit lacking, but most of them have *some* redeeming qualities. I have doubts they are going to survive to the endgame, but they hardly look like one that will be quickly eliminated, like Brown or worse yet Green. As for how entertaining they will be, it'll be simply about how they'll play, I think they'll be a decent watch for those like me who could care less about shipping. And... yeah, that about sums it up.

~sotf67