SickKitty Bitches About Teams

Right. So after the temporary delay in your regularly scheduled "me yelling at you all for being idiots" because of a broken laptop, a very small drug induced coma, and Max being a complete and utter asshole, I'm back! And I'm here to fill your lives with my wonderful bitching! Huzzah!

Let's talk about the fake teams, shall we? Several groups of wanna be survivors have grouped together despite the fact that they should be murdering each other. Among them is the mess that is Shawn Morrison and Ben Whatshisface.

After a while of Ben being completely stupid with his weapon (an entire bag of bandannas), he figured out how to use it to his advantage, and is now lying to Shawn and saying that they're on the same team. Shawn has no reason not to believe this, despite the fact that his mentor pretty much told him not to trust Ben. In fairness though, that mentor talks in the most complicated ways. Stupid, really. If Shawn was on Jarred's team, then Ben would be dead. However, this already fragile alliance got even more fragile after Shawn murdered Jaszmine Johnson with a snake.

Actually, that reminds me! The Most Amusing Kill Thusfar Award goes to Shawn for that display! Snake death. Who woulda thought?

What was I saying? Oh, yeah. Basically, if Shawn doesn't figure out by morning that Ben- who now has a gun- isn't on his team, then it's because Ben finally did something smart and murdered him.

Or because Shawn is a stoner and most of his braincells are really quite dead.

Moving on!

Up next is the weird mini-team of Jhamel Thomson, Jeanette Beunindia or however you spell it, April Stone, and Brenda Hernandez.

...Oh, and also that Eloise chick, but she doesn't really count because she's not very interesting.

Man, if these four (I'm sorry, five) weren't as terrible at this game as they are, they would almost be kind of fun to watch! I mean, between the group hug, getting a wrench thrown at them, Jeanette deciding to be a player and only telling April, Brenda being a really terrible Team Mom, Eloise wandering off to die, and brilliant product placement of Cliff Bars, there's something for everyone!

Except intelligent people, who would tell you that forming a supergroup based on two separate teams is stupid, especially when one of those teams (*coughBROWNcough*) has no good weapons, while the other has a gun, a wrench, and a knife between two people. Seriously, Jeanette, Jhamel, I get that you're trying to be nice, but get your shit together and start killing before I get my shit together and change the channel.

There's also the downright bizarre team of Marcus Walker and Anna Higgins. I don't even know where to begin on that one. Just...what? I mean, seriously, what. I really want Marcus to start killing people. If he gets rid of the annoying white girl first, well then...I wouldn't be complaining. Just saying.

Other than that, these team-ups have been pretty dreadful. I mean, it's not that they aren't amusing, it's just that so far really only Karen Ruiz has figured out that teams or not, it's kill or be killed. Why hasn't any full team joined up to start killing? That's what I would do. And hey, think of it this way, you're actually saving lives! More people on your team decide to kill, the more people on your team survive. It's win win!

Seriously folks, get your game on.

Right, well, I've got to go find a way to make Max let me back into our apartment. Until then, follow me on twitter @KittyMcHugh, and stay tuned! I promise more fake awards and wonderful drinking games will abound! Cheers!

Quickfire Recap (By Location!) by RNN [Part 6]

SKI RESORT:

In "Whatcha Gonna Do" the team of Renee Carlson, Timothy Walker, Kathy Clements and Peter Campbell, meet up with Terrilynn Boden. They search around and not much happens until Timothy Walker starts trying to feel up Kathy Clements. Kathy does not like that and pushes him away. Tim gets more than upset at this and snaps at her, pointing his gun at her after being denied. Renee and Lynn were seen walking down to see what the commotion is all about. There is action to come soon!

Star of the Scene: Timothy adds something to what would otherwise be a super friendly group. He brings about some danger and conflict that is always nice to see in the show. His snap after being denied put me on the edge of my seat. Can't wait to see what he does next!

FOREST:

Devonte Washington, Marcus Walker and Skye Thsani have a grand old time, until an accidental shot from Skye's crossbow causes a major conflict. Marcus is fueled in rage after Devonte is hit and chases after Skye.

In another part of the forest, the next day, Mason Ross becomes the first person to be face to face with Karen Ruiz and lives. She doesn't even attack him and she eeriely gives her reasons on why she killed. "The Teams are Fake." What if she's right?

Star of the Scene: Devonte Washington is quite the charming one, even as he bleeds he wants to go out all cool and not like some kind of chump. Sharp tongue on that boy.

Quickfire Recap (By Location!) by RNN [Part 3]

INLAND LAKE:

The scene that happened here was "Chain of Sorrow" where Orange Team's Tiffany Dexter and Vincent Sullivan face off against Karen Ruiz. Tiffany and Vincent use team work to their advantage until a stupid mistake. Needless to say Karen continues on with more tools at her dispense.

Star of the Scene: Our favorite Killer Karen Ruiz earns this by escaping victorious and stopping the momentum of what looked to be a huge threat on the island. Now that she put an end to that, Karen has cemented herself as THE threat.

NORTHERN BEACH:

The Segment played here is "Just Pay Separate Processing and Handling" where Skyler Thsani is resting and is ambushed by Daniel Renard, who fails at it. Daniel keeps trying though and 'sucker punches' Skyler to set up another ambush. We'll see if the second ambush will work this time.

Star of the Scene: Daniel Renard hams it up and is being purposely annoying to piss Skye off so he can steal that Crossbow. The boy has some guts to attack an armed opponent, when he doesn't even have a weapon of his own. Let's see if he can pull it off.

Quickfire Recap (By Location!) by RNN [Part 2]

OPEN PLAINS:

A lot happened here... Let's see where we should start. Devonte, Marcus and Skye have some nice buddy time here. Cute almost.

Several fights. Vincent Sullivan vs Madelyn Conner, where they bruised each other pretty bad, but Vincent gained a paddle from it. Marvia Jones vs a personal favorite in Karen Ruiz, where Karen gained more fire power and finally Zachariah Johnston vs Marion Clayton where Marion gained a melted face. I still shudder from that one.

Currently a group made of mostly Green team and Sidney Rice are slumbering in the episode "Shun the Non-Believer." It's only a matter of time before something horrible happens there! Otherwise why would the producers title it like that? I'm sure of it.

Also currently ongoing are meetings between Michael Marshall and cute Nate Chauncy and another involving Marcus Walker and two of blue! Anna Higgins and Axel Stadler.

Star of the Scene: Anna Higgins. "Marky Mark!" Hahaha, the delivery of that line was great.

RESORT HOTEL:

The ongoing episode is "Metanoia" where the sexy - I mean, dirty hippie, Shawn Morrison and his fellow wing man Ben-o Grayson (love it!) start searching for people and useful stuff in the Hotel. Ben is still pretending to be Gold with Shawn, while Shawn seems upset about something from the announcements. His friend died or something? Anyway he remedies this by - how else? Smoking Pot of course! In typical Shawn fashion, when his mentor Drake starts giving him advice Shawn freaks out and thinks a snake it talking to him. Love the humorous music they played softly in the background for that part.

Then something -shocking- happens, but that would be spoiling what Nery will cover in the Contestant Spotlight. We'll have to wait and see what happens to the duo of sexy hipster Shawn and the adorable Ben-O, thanks to that cliff hanger they gave us.

Star of the Scene: I'd like to give both members of this duo the spotlight, but Shawn Morrison getting high and doing *something else* earns him the credit here.

Video Blog #1 by c0rnch1p

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lpgi-xacNeE

I'm rather proud to say we've received our first Video Blog, from the ever popular c0rnch1p, a great addition to the Survival of the Snarkiest team. A few of you have expressed concerns in emails that Survival of the Snarkiest doesn't have a video component, like certain other fan sites. Well, here is our answer.

In todays' video c0rnch1p takes a look at the death of Rishi Kohli and Isaac King in depth, giving his thoughts on the subject.

Expect more coverage, both video and analysis' soon!

- Comrade Snowball

Comrade_Snowball's Game Recap #2 Stray Observations

Random Notes from the Island…

- - Sean Davidson is my predicted next out, given his actions on the Resort Beach. Zach is going to finish him, mark my words. A real pity to see him go down so soon.

- - Marvia Jones and Harold Smythe… It’s obvious that Marvia has more intellect then Harold at this point in time. Still, what could be keeping her around? What has stopped her from killing him? Keep an eye on this pair; I expect their alliance to fall apart- spectacularly.

- - Odile Jones, Odile Jones... Quite the little showgirl we’ve got on our hands! I personally hope for more scenes with her soon, especially if Tiffany is around. Her behaviour is quite erratic but quite entertaining.

- - I may have said Sean is my predicted next out, but another student looks set for the chopping block as well! Glen Bole may be out of a team-mate, and he might not be the smartest student out there, but it looks like he’s got Suzanne Lanford cornered, if he could just get around to finishing her off.

- - Might as well make it three, Bobby Goldman, as of this writing, has gotten into a tight spot with Karen Ruiz, the first killer this Season. He’s still going, but this fight can go either way. Best to check out the clips, it’s a real entertaining battle thus far! I’m hoping Bobby pulls through, at least for a bit longer. But his chances of getting off the Island alive have dwindled oh so low.

- - Holly Herchenroder may win points for her bandanna duplication, but how long can she expect Jack Lemmon to stay undercover? A better plan needs to crop up, or Jack is dead in the water. Will they take the 10 kills option? Definitely stay tuned on this one- the build up has been intense so far, and I'm expecting a big payoff when their plan falls apart.

Comrade_Snowball's Game Recap #2

Well here it is Ladies and Gentlemen, you’ve waited patiently, and Karen Ruiz has finally delivered! Anthony Rollins is the first cast member to clock out this season, the very first kill of Season 65! And boy what a kill it was. I’ll admit it, I didn’t see this kill coming. The group Anthony was rolling with (Pardon the pun) was very tight. Sterling and Amber were allied with Karen, and I hadn’t expected her to open fire, especially after Amber’s tirade.

But she did anyways, prompting thousands upon thousands of pages of discussion on the official SotF Fan Forums. The twittersphere has been on fire; #KarenRuiz has topped the hashtag list for at least the past three days since the footage went live. People all around the country have been asking, just what is she playing at? Is Karen off her rocker like “Reverand” Smythe? Or is she simply thinking ahead? Could she be going after the ten kills?

I’m sad to see Anthony go. But regardless, his death has certainly left quite an impression on the game. Pink Team was never the strongest team, but they ranked at least Mid-Tier. But now with the loss of Anthony (and the continued stupidity of Jonas, Glen and Ben) they’re looking to be an early out.

Anthony wasn’t the only victim. Karen Ruiz managed to inflict quite the nasty wound to resident lunatic Ali White, blowing a finger clean off. It was a lucky shot that is sure to plague her until her inevitable demise. So far this Season has been rather lax on injuries, again, many people are decrying the slow start, but I’m thinking the exact opposite. Getting to know these characters makes the wounds and the death all the more shocking, and all the more brutal. I know I jumped when Ali was attacked. She’s a loony, (even BEFORE SotF: TV) but she is one of the fan favourites, and I myself have grown particularly fond of watching her exploits.

Speaking of fan favourites, take a look over at the tag list on the sidebar. As you can no doubt see, we’ve got a few notable names already in Season 65. The power trio of Shawn, Mae, and Zach have kept the shipping and fan fiction sections of the forum busy as hell, and it isn’t hard to see why. Interesting to note here, while ShawnxMae is wildly regarded as the better of the pairings, at least in the public eye, a quick look around any SotF fansite will reveal QUITE a lot of ZachxMae shippers on the net. Why is this? I don’t mean to offend here, but I sense some serious wish fulfillment going on.

Zach is the ultimate White Knight, and judging from the pre-game footage gathered he’s been harbouring a major crush on Mae for months, maybe years. Mae St. Clair is, to be blunt, beautiful. She’s witty and nice, and more importantly for the fans out there, she talks to Zach, the social challenged boy that he is, and even MORE importantly, she treats him with respect. When SotF was in the early stages, it first caught hold on the internet; the chans and the “nerd” demographic took hold of it and made it their own. This was their show, their chance to dream. What would it be like to kill your enemies, kill anyone who’s ever hated you? It’s one of the things so appealing about SotF: TV, the revenge and the righteous anger dealt out with no penalty. Zach has been aptly dubbed “The Love Martyr”, and he’s one of us. Anyone who’s ever fallen head over heels in love, everyone in the dark corners of the net who’ve been picked on and persecuted, they’re in Zach’s corner. When you think about it, we’ve all got a little bit of Zach in us. While you might not hear him talked about much in public rest assured, he’s a fan favourite. It’s too early to declare him my favourite, but he ranks up with Ali as a definite favourite, at least for me.

As you can see from the tags, other popular students include Marvia Jones, Panya Bishara and Sidney Rice. It’d rather obvious as to why; Marvia’s sex scene has easily been the most overplayed clip this season. Panya Bishara is another hottie, and Sidney has spent her game thus far bouncing around in a bunny costume. Ahhh fan service.

Little note on Marvia and Sidney here. While Panya has remained mostly neutral at this point (Debate is still raging on whether she is playing or not). Marvia has clearly shown she’s got a villainous streak going, beating on Nate Chauncey, stealing her things and then allying with the clearly insane Harold Smythe. (Who might win the record for fastest mental breakdown in SotF: TV, ever!) Sidney likewise, is clearly playing from her actions on the cruise ship. Often times on SotF we find girls who try to strike that ever so desired “Femme Fatale” status, utilizing looks and violence in equal measure to win the game. It’s never been truly achieved, although many have gotten close. Could this be their strategy?

Looks like we’ll have to stay tuned to find out!

I thank you once more for your continued reading! Feel free to voice your opinion down in the comments! This is Comrade_Snowball, signing off!

Contestant Spotlight: Anthony Rollins by RNN

Contestant Spot-Light: Anthony Rollins

Hello snarky readers and SOTF-TV Fans! It's us again, RNN: Rebecca and my lovah-boy Nery. Well not really, just me (Rebecca) today. Sorry for not getting into the blogging party earlier, but better late than never right? I finally had a chance to watch the entirety of SOTF-TV so far and I must say: I'm Loving it!

So what I'm gonna be doing, is this thing called "The Contestant Spot-Light." Where we examine each SOTF-TV teenager in-depth of the current season, and what better way than to start with our first dead contestant!? That's right today's spot light is on Anthony Rollins!


Anthony Rollins (Pink Team)
*The black dude who dies first.*

Episode Segments he was in:
Started: Open Plains "Establishing Shot"
Died: The Forest "Friendly Fire"

Being the first eliminated, Anthony's journey was a very short one, but the kid was pretty fun to watch. If there's something I always enjoy seeing as a viewer, that contestants do, it's when they talk to the cameras. Anthony being a camera guy himself, according to his website profile, typically did this in spades. He even gave us a small close up of his not so small claymore sword. Would have been pretty neat to see the thing in action.

Speaking of small, for an African American, Anthony was pretty short, especially when with those two tall jock looking boys Sterling and Bobby. I feel pretty sorry for Anthony. You could legitimately see the timidness and minor jealousy in his face as eye candy Amber, went to the two eye candy boys and gave them hugs and kisses. Oh the things I've read about rabid fan girls wanting Anthony gone, so the three "pretty people" could have some sort of weird three-way.

I'm glad I'm not like that! I don't just watch for "the hot guys" because well, aside from being practically married to Nery; most of these typical, clean cut jock type "hot guys" just don't do it for me, nor do I watch the show actively looking for them. In fact I said this before, but I'm the type of chick who enjoys when the hot guys die, just so the annoying fan girls STFU, already. If I wanted to see hot guys I'd "read" a playgirl magazine or something. (Erhem.. back to Anthony.)

Poor Anthony. I wanted to just give him a hug of my own, after he both figuratively and literally got overshadowed by the taller, stronger and more conventionally attractive guys. Poor boy gets no love, and I was outwardly rooting on him there. Lovable underdog that he was in many ways. And they gave him a gnome hat too. Which he actually wore! It was quite adorable.

Game Analysis: Anthony's game plan was sound. Find people he knew and stay with them, to hopefully keep himself safe. He teamed up with teenagers he was friendly with at school, in barbie girl, Amber Lyons, and Generic Eye Candy guy, Sterling Odair, and Bobby Goldman, who I think is a Jew. He was smart enough to keep his weapon for himself, when Bobby offered a trade with his crappy metal stick - thing. The two larger guys were good for support/strength to defend him. Also they could've made great meat shields due to their sizes compared to Anthony, for him to hide behind, so it was a good choice to stick with them. Amber his friend would have done her best to keep him alive as well. His one mistake however, adorable as it was, was to wear that gnome hat. He should have taken it off as soon as he could, when Karen started shooting, but he didn't, and we all know what happened there!

Death Look!
I didn't see it live, as I was at work, but the scene was very exciting even watching the replay. Karen Ruiz (one of my favs and pretty much the only likable baddie, so far - don't get me started on Harold and Marvia) saw the group of four and started shooting at them. They all hid in various spots. Anthony being small, hid easily behind one of the trees. Being the crafty sort, Karen threw a rock and caught Anthony's attention. His gnome hat, still on his head came into Karen's view, where it fell on the ground in front of him. Then Anthony followed his hat after moving slightly.

I love both Karen and Anthony, too bad one of them had to die. I really loved Anthony's last words. Even as he chokes on his own blood he still manages to talk to the camera! Of course he falls to the ground and dies, making him the first contestant eliminated, and proving once again, that the majority of the time, in any group: The black guy dies first.

Aftermath predictions: Anthony's death marked the first kill. Karen's rep is now high on the island - it's always that way for the first killers. Amber and her pretty boy will no doubt be affected by this in a big way, and we have yet to see what will happen with the Jew, Bobby... stupid to be continued captions. Anthony had relationships with many of the Detroit Students, so it would have a tremendous impact on them all. The announcements will take a hit on the Detroit students morale, undoubtly, leaving the Silver Dragon Academy students stronger in the beginning, unless someone else dies soon. Anthony's death might have a particularly strong effect on his best friend, partner, and co-sidekick, Anna Higgins. Watching Anna so far, her friend's death might send her over the edge. How will she take it? I can't wait to see.

*

That's all for now. Next time's Contestant spot-light will be in honor of the internet blogger shout outs from two "sucky" kids and another one featuring an awesome Latino. Can you guess who those three are? (comment!)

Also coming up will be RNN's individual review of scenes and episodes by location... I was gonna do the Awesome Cruise Ship scene, but I think one of my fellow blogger's have already covered it. So what better to start the Episode Segment Analysis than at the location that had the most air time so far? That's right it's the rain forest!

P.S. Follow Nery and me at our twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/RebeccaNery. We always have some fun things to say. Nery particularly. Till next time!

The Fan Favorites

We've all seen the polls before, "Who's the first out", "Who's going to win it all", the standard stuff that's brought up every SotF Season. And baring a few notable cases, we've had clear frontrunner's, day in and day out. It might not always come true (Which is the beauty of SotF), but at least the fan base can decide on something.

Not this time around! With the introduction of teams, all the odds-makers in Vegas are scrambling to rework their system, and it looks like the fan base is equally divided!

And at the end of the day, Red Team, Yellow Team, Purple Team and Team 13 are locked in a four-way tie for first, in the first ever Survival of the Snarkiest "Front Runner Poll".

Every team is (still) at full strength, and it's hard to tell who'll come out on top. All of these teams have had a strong start (Especially Purple and Red, Karen Ruiz and Marvia Jones looking extremely proactive out there.)

While we can't tell the winner just yet, the stragglers are becoming apparent. Grey Team garnered zero votes, sitting in dead last. Can't really blame that choice, with the loss of their sole weapon, they're looking very shaky. Also near the bottom of the poll was the Blue Team. I'm going to have to dispute this slightly, while Joshua Doyle and Anna Higgins have shown their red shirts, Jasz and Axel have proven to be quite useful thus far. Lou Becker seems to be AWOL at the moment, judging from lack of footage. Would two team members be enough to carry Blue Team to the finals though? Unless we see a change of course, it's looking grim for them.

Can they turn it around? We'll just have to watch and see!

FULL RESULTS

1) Red Team
1) Purple Team
1) Team 13
1) Yellow Team
2) Pink Team
3) Green Team
3) Brown Team
4) Orange Team
4) White Team
4) Black Team
4) Gold Team
5) Blue Team
6) Grey Team

N/A Loner Boy - (Not Polled;Survival Percentage currently hovering around 1.5%)

Comrade_Snowball's Game Recap #1 Stray Observations

Stray Observations

Idiotic players weren’t the only thing I noticed. Take a look at some of the other things that’ve caught my attention!

- Marvia Jones and Natalie Chauncey – you knew I was bound to mention this scene; it’s one for the highlight reel. Sex scenes are always common, but sex on ecstasy? Marvia propelled her popularity into the stratosphere with that choice. She’s unleashed a torrent of fanfics, pairing her with everyone from Jared Clayton to Alicia White! I’m quite sure no one expected the ending to that. Natalie won’t die from not wearing a bandanna, but she’s definitely going to have some problems linking with her team, what with Marvia now impersonating her. Marvia, definitely a late-gamer and one to watch.

- As I’ve noted before, the weaker teams are clearly becoming visible. Black Team and Grey Team have had several early game bumps, and Green Team still has that mentor handicap to get over.

- Bobby Goldman and Axel Stadler have proven to be quite brilliant strategists, displaying a knack for creative thinking when it comes to scavenging for supplies and making due with what they have. I expect a real fight from them.

- Sidney Rice, Timothy Walker and Karen Ruiz have established themselves as early game players. Not sure what exactly Jonas Jeffries plan is, (his actions are a little too bizarre and I can’t peg him down as a villain or not) but it is fairly obvious from Sidney’s behaviour she was looking for a kill on Joshua Doyle. I didn’t expect Karen Ruiz to swing toward murder quite so fast, if at all. Definitely a bonus to the Purple Team, one I did not count on initially.

- Timothy Walker is proving to be an absolute joy to watch, and a natural on camera. So many students forget the cameras’ are there, but following him it seems like everything is one big joke, and the viewer is the only one in on it. Aside from him of course. Pure gold, that kid.

- I was pleased to see some students actually showing an appreciation for their costumes. Mae St. Clair in full Kimono was a sight for the ages, (as was her stripping shortly after) and Sidney and Panya Bishara look to have no intention of ditching their respective costumes.

- Alicia White has proven to be quite the spacey one, nearly getting her head blown off after forgetting to affix her bandanna. Really? Liability if I ever saw one.

- Some students have been noticeably absent so far. Lost in the jungle perhaps?

That’s all for now folks. Stay tuned to Survival of the Snarkiest for more coverage!

Promo Material #1

Hiya gentleman and lesbians! Its me, Ajax-Kun, rocking on up with another post!

I did promise Comrade_Snowball I’d do a quick analysis of Larry Loner, but screw that. I have managed to get full access to the Promo material for Detroit Central High. Thank you Pirate Bay!

I have decided against hogging the limelight (Read; I’m to lazy to write much) and have just chosen to focus on a few of what I though were the more interesting episodes of the Promo material. For those of you unfamiliar with what the Promo material is, it’s a pay-per-view stalker cam kind of deal, which allows you to glimpse into their lives. It’s pretty creepy, and pretty cool. Also, incredibly depressing, when you look out over the crowds of people and realise that they all have families and at most 5 are coming home.

The first of my highlights, has got to be “When Its Time To Party, We Will Party Hard!” It starts of pretty normally, with some crappy dance music and The guy with the unpronounceable surname (Skyler Thsani) chatting to Fireman wannabe (Bobby Goldman). Pretty standard fare.

Then, Amber shows. Cue a million jealous stares against Fireman wannabe as he gets an Amber hug. Then sexy dancing.

I love that girl, so fucking much.

Then, the host of (one of my favourite campy web-cam shows) turns up. Awesome jokey intro, awesome melodrama. So much awesome it sounds like the pitch to another crappy Michael Bay movie!

Then Wannabe fireman goes on a rant about how he totes can dance, using possibly the homophobiest of homophobic insults ever. It was kinda funny. And I’m Bi, so I should be offended!

Blah, blah, blah, fights, acting hard. Just like every (One) downtown party I’ve been to. *Yawn*. I’m sure theres some shipper fuel in there, but It’s 2 AM in the fraking morning. I’ll leave that to Kawaii and Holly (Wheres that Fanfic Holly, I want me some yaoi! I am disappoint.)

Come on, we all know I’m just stalling ‘till the lesbian scene.

I just… Have no words to describe… Just…

Uuugggghhhh. HAWT. SO. HAWT.

I have no snark for this. I just have a desire to watch it on loop for a few hours.

-------

Oh, yeah, I’m supposed to be doing shit other than masturbating furiously. Right…

Onwards to the ad’awwwable “Beat the Lunch Line”. It is also a fairly unassuming concept, with a group just getting together at lunch and having a nice friendly chat. There’s a lot of Karen wanting everyone to GTFO at the beginning, but she screws off at some point, leaving the more friendly people to converse. Luna Lovegood (Alicia White) turns up too, so that’s awesome. Of course she cries about her rather depressing life, but then she decides to get into a rather cute romance.

I love me a good bit of romance, as y’all know, so I put this forward as my Mushy Stuff of the Week.

Right, as always, I love to know what you guys think about this stuff, so chuck up a few comments!

Also, to the guy that linked me to the torrent with these on, I love you!

Also, I hate you. Seroiusly, I need sleep. Its 2 Am. And I’m still on my computer.

Now, if youll excuse me, I’m gonna pass out

Purple Team Analysis by Comrade_Snowball

Hey folks, it’s Comrade_Snowball again! Back with another Team Analysis’, this time we’ll be checking out the Purple Team!

MENTOR
Every season there comes along a select few contestants, those lucky few with the skills and guts to hack it in wilds of SotF. Sometimes these clear frontrunners don’t do nearly as well as we hope. All the gun training and parkour skills in the world can’t save you when you’re bleeding from a gut shot, half a world away. Jared Clayton was not one of those people. He was by all accounts, an early out. But Jared had the one thing his competitors didn’t count on. Willpower.
While the rest of the mentors this year are “experts” Purple Team is truly blessed to have the only mentor with legit experience. Jared Clayton came out of nowhere to win in SotF, and more importantly, he came out of the ordeal sane. With that kind of credentials, it would be beyond stupid for anyone on the Purple Team to ignore his advice. Jared has the brains and first hand knowledge to take his team far, well past the half-mark, well into the finals!

Madelyn Connor
Traits: Athletic, Anger-Issues, White Knight Syndrome, Inattentive
Weapon: Glow Sticks
Madelyn Connor has what it takes to be a true contender, if it weren’t for a few nagging details. As we all know, trust is one of the weakest traits to have in SotF. Madelyn not only has trust in spades, but she has the unfortunate “White Knight Syndrome” as well. With a poor weapon draw, I can picture her jumping into harms way early on, and getting shot well before Purple Team’s mentor can set her on the right track. Even if Jared somehow manages to rein her in, Madelyn is far too dull-witted to last. Expect her to die via trap or by her own stupidity before half. Sorry Jared, just can’t save them all.

Amber Lyons
Traits: Whore, Cunning, Bisexual, Beautiful, Weak
Weapon: Short Spear
Now this is someone Jared can put to good use! Amber is the ideal player during the opening stages of the game. She’s one to quicken the pulse, and that can definitely be used to her team’s advantage. As often as we see the age old “Black Widow” Gambit, it never fails to work. If she’s not afraid to loosen a few bra-straps, she’ll make a kill or two easy before having to revise her plan of attack. And if Amber manages to get her hands on a gun she could make it to the end under Jared’s guidance, cackling all the way off the Island.

Karen Ruiz
Traits: Loner, Cautious
Weapon: Glock
Not much to say about Karen. She appears to be a wild card! It’s impossible to say what way she’ll swing; she’s either a player or early game victim. Whatever way she goes, expect a lot of contestants going “Huh? Who’s Karen?” I’m gonna go out on a limb and predict mid game death, her gun passed on to a more useful team member.

Cesar Perdomo
Traits: Stoner, “One of Us”, Tall, Gun Experience, Follower, Friendly
Weapon: Febreeze
Poor Cesar! One of the few with actual gun experience, and he’s drawn a can of Febreeze. Best hope you run into Karen early on Cesar. Actually, your team better hope you have the guts to actually open fire! All the experience in the world can’t help you if you can’t bring yourself to end a life. I’m sure Jared knows that first hand, after his clash with Mike Martelli during his own SotF run. If anyone can bring Cesar around, it’s Purple Team’s Mentor though. If Jared succeeds, I think we can expect a somewhat guilty Cesar slinking his way into end game.

Sterling Odair
Traits: Athletic, Popular, Bisexual, Depressed, Anxiety Problems
Weapon: Hatchet
Well, in any other case I’d say Purple Team has found their on0site leader! Of course, Sterling has some issues to work out. Rather sad to see, the kid would make an excellent commander, for those willing to listen. A lot of “ifs” involved with Sterling. IF he can keep from cracking, IF he can link up with his team, IF Jared can give him good enough instructions… I can see Sterling making it to end game, but I can just as easily see him getting knocked off halfway through.

OVERALL
Jared has some work to do. His team isn’t the most heavily armed, and there will definitely be problems convincing certain members to play by his rules. Still, that doesn’t rule Purple Team out. Some of the most stacked teams have been given terrible mentors, and Jared is sure to give them a perspective unlike any other. Madelyn is as good as gone but Amber and Cesar are practically guaranteed a spot in the finals. I wonder if any of the others will be joining? Don’t rule out Purple Team. They might not have brute force, but they’ll soon have the one thing the other teams don’t. Willpower.