RESORT BEACH:
There is a very long, but still exciting footage, spread out into several episodes already in a saga like form, entitled "Time to Pretend" that we'll break down in a later blog. There's just too much to say about that right now. Basically Gold Team is using the location of one merchandise shack on the beach as a base of operations, sending members of the team and other allies out on 'quests' with others staying in 'the castle' to keep watch. Recently they've been infiltrated by an attacking Panya Bishara, but with the help of Michael Clark, Gold's Alicia White and Mae St. Clair fought back.
Another Segment "We are the Dead" Showed Odile Jones brutally murder both Holly Herchenroder and Jack Lemmon. It was a particularly graphic and disturbing scene, with Odile looking like she was putting on a show for the viewers and enjoying every minute of it. She even stomped on the girl viciously at one point and the disposing of the bodies - wow.
Then there was also "Finders Keepers" where Vincent Sullivan clobbered fail contestant Glen Bole, taking his walkie talkies and then forming an alliance with Orange team mate, Tiffany Dexter. Tiffany plans to organize their team into an army and take down all opponents. That would have been interesting to see, too bad it was short lived.
Star of the Scene: Odile Jones gets the prize again. That was a bloody fantastic show. I also MUST give credit to fairy girl, Alicia White for making "Time to Pretend" seem like an epic fantasy world story. Fairies? Elves? Ogres? Healers? and my favorite... Sluagh. Her jargon is quite amusing!
THE GEYSER:
Let's see Sean Davidson gets beaten up by Bobby Goldman, which was humorous and then Ferric Tam gets abandoned by his team mate Brennan, which was also quite humorous. Ferric's rant as Brennan walking off was also some great comic relief, what with the 'wah wah wah' sound effect they added in!
Currently "Foreshadowing/Hindsights" is the the episode located there. Jacob Langston, Madelyn Conner and Mikaela Warner are looking for runaway Marion Clayton, but give up on their search. They seemingly make plans for escape. I'm not sure if they can pull it off, but escapes are always exciting.
Star of the Scene: Not much has happened yet, so we'll hold off on this for now.
Showing posts with label Holly Herchenroder. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Holly Herchenroder. Show all posts
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Comrade_Snowball's Game Recap #2 Stray Observations
Random Notes from the Island…
- - Sean Davidson is my predicted next out, given his actions on the Resort Beach. Zach is going to finish him, mark my words. A real pity to see him go down so soon.
- - Marvia Jones and Harold Smythe… It’s obvious that Marvia has more intellect then Harold at this point in time. Still, what could be keeping her around? What has stopped her from killing him? Keep an eye on this pair; I expect their alliance to fall apart- spectacularly.
- - Odile Jones, Odile Jones... Quite the little showgirl we’ve got on our hands! I personally hope for more scenes with her soon, especially if Tiffany is around. Her behaviour is quite erratic but quite entertaining.
- - I may have said Sean is my predicted next out, but another student looks set for the chopping block as well! Glen Bole may be out of a team-mate, and he might not be the smartest student out there, but it looks like he’s got Suzanne Lanford cornered, if he could just get around to finishing her off.
- - Might as well make it three, Bobby Goldman, as of this writing, has gotten into a tight spot with Karen Ruiz, the first killer this Season. He’s still going, but this fight can go either way. Best to check out the clips, it’s a real entertaining battle thus far! I’m hoping Bobby pulls through, at least for a bit longer. But his chances of getting off the Island alive have dwindled oh so low.
- - Holly Herchenroder may win points for her bandanna duplication, but how long can she expect Jack Lemmon to stay undercover? A better plan needs to crop up, or Jack is dead in the water. Will they take the 10 kills option? Definitely stay tuned on this one- the build up has been intense so far, and I'm expecting a big payoff when their plan falls apart.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Comrade_Snowball's Game Recap #1 PART 2
A lot of friends and lovers have been broken up over the years in SotF, but this is the first season where it isn’t technically the end. The “10 Kills” dynamic is back; sure it involves getting your hands soaked in blood, but now more than ever our players have options. Anyone could beat the odds; kill ten and a free ticket home, regardless of who is left in the game. Could Jack be taking that option, hoping Holly and the Black Team join him? He’s a pacifist, but we all know that means nothing on SotF: TV. It’s possible to assume a lot of these early game players are going for the 10 Kills.
With the mention of Holly, another important topic has just come to mind; team desertion. Yes, only one color will survive to the finale, but behind the bandannas are friends, and potentially allies. Every game without fail we seem players making alliances, some temporary, and some right up until the final bullet, even though there can be only one survivor. I’ll be blunt; those bandannas mean shit to the players at present. Alliances are still being formed based on friendships, and that won’t stop. Brenda Hernandez has managed to create a shaky alliance between members of the Brown, Red and Gold team, with minimal shouting and minimal paranoia. (Although John Benson has potentially spoiled Gold Teams chances with this alliance, given his recent actions.) Elsewhere Madelyn Connor and Mikaela Warner have done the same, the sole reasoning being THEY KNOW EACH OTHER. This isn’t a game breaker; the teams will eventually come into play, especially later on as alliances fall apart. At the moment teams are scattered and for the most part unknown. Some players are instantly buying into the team dynamic, but two schools are competing, remember that. Madelyn and Mikaela’s reasoning makes a whole lot more sense when you consider that half the kids out there come from Detroit, complete unknowns to them. A shaky alliance, yes. But understandable. I know if I was in SotF, I’d want a friend at my back, even if one of us were ultimately going down in the end. Trust is a big thing in SotF, and the divide behind the schools has kept many players searching for friends first, over team-mates.
Will all these school alliances stand strong as the game continues? We can’t be sure. The idea of four other people who are depending on you and your cooperation is one that is sure to weigh heavy on Holly’s shoulders, even now as she ditches her fellow Black Team members. For the moment however, they’ll have to live with the handicap. In a similar vein is Tristan Hart, sure to make the rest of his team’s blood boil before too long. Unbeknownst to him, Grey Team had a single gun, now currently residing at the bottom of the tar pits. How will they take it, when they find out Tristan has thrown away their best chance at survival? Tristan may not have deserted his team, but he might as well have. These handicaps could prove to be game changing, and have thrown Black Team and Grey Team to the back of the pack for now. I can’t help but wonder how will the mentors react, their team members making alliances with friends over team-mates?
It’s still a little too early to say. I’m sure all the mentors are watching their teams’ actions carefully, and have been preparing for every situation. Now, I’ve been lurking the boards and hearing that many people are dissatisfied with the slow start. Sure, it may appear that way at first glance. But if you stop a moment to look a little deeper, you’ll see what a treat we’re in for. Expect big payoffs in the days to come.
With the mention of Holly, another important topic has just come to mind; team desertion. Yes, only one color will survive to the finale, but behind the bandannas are friends, and potentially allies. Every game without fail we seem players making alliances, some temporary, and some right up until the final bullet, even though there can be only one survivor. I’ll be blunt; those bandannas mean shit to the players at present. Alliances are still being formed based on friendships, and that won’t stop. Brenda Hernandez has managed to create a shaky alliance between members of the Brown, Red and Gold team, with minimal shouting and minimal paranoia. (Although John Benson has potentially spoiled Gold Teams chances with this alliance, given his recent actions.) Elsewhere Madelyn Connor and Mikaela Warner have done the same, the sole reasoning being THEY KNOW EACH OTHER. This isn’t a game breaker; the teams will eventually come into play, especially later on as alliances fall apart. At the moment teams are scattered and for the most part unknown. Some players are instantly buying into the team dynamic, but two schools are competing, remember that. Madelyn and Mikaela’s reasoning makes a whole lot more sense when you consider that half the kids out there come from Detroit, complete unknowns to them. A shaky alliance, yes. But understandable. I know if I was in SotF, I’d want a friend at my back, even if one of us were ultimately going down in the end. Trust is a big thing in SotF, and the divide behind the schools has kept many players searching for friends first, over team-mates.
Will all these school alliances stand strong as the game continues? We can’t be sure. The idea of four other people who are depending on you and your cooperation is one that is sure to weigh heavy on Holly’s shoulders, even now as she ditches her fellow Black Team members. For the moment however, they’ll have to live with the handicap. In a similar vein is Tristan Hart, sure to make the rest of his team’s blood boil before too long. Unbeknownst to him, Grey Team had a single gun, now currently residing at the bottom of the tar pits. How will they take it, when they find out Tristan has thrown away their best chance at survival? Tristan may not have deserted his team, but he might as well have. These handicaps could prove to be game changing, and have thrown Black Team and Grey Team to the back of the pack for now. I can’t help but wonder how will the mentors react, their team members making alliances with friends over team-mates?
It’s still a little too early to say. I’m sure all the mentors are watching their teams’ actions carefully, and have been preparing for every situation. Now, I’ve been lurking the boards and hearing that many people are dissatisfied with the slow start. Sure, it may appear that way at first glance. But if you stop a moment to look a little deeper, you’ll see what a treat we’re in for. Expect big payoffs in the days to come.
Comrade_Snowball's Game Recap #1 PART 1
From the start of this season, I knew there would be issues within the groups. I was apprehensive, thinking this Season would end up being a test run of sorts. I was worried the team dynamic simply wouldn’t WORK the first time around, result in a quick game as one overpowered team swept across the island, entertaining, but boring.
The entire situation brings to mind SotF TV: Season 14; the shortest game we’ve ever had clocking in at just under 18 hours. (The ultimate winner being Georgia “Hatchet” LaLourvey.) Like Season 65, Season 14 was a time of change, upheavals within the SotF organization, and rule changes in an attempt to liven things up. The low ratings of Season 14 killed nearly all attempts at innovation thereafter, and while we can’t tire of good ol’SotF, I sometimes can’t help but look back and wonder... What would have happened if the new rules had worked as planned? Would SotF: TV be the same great show we know and love, or would it be worse? Perhaps it might be something entirely new, refreshing and spectacular with its own distinct style? We’ll never know. If one good thing came out of Season 14, it was the new attitude displayed by the SotF Crew, hesitance to tweak with the pitch perfect formula. SotF: TV went back to modification and fine-tuning rather than flashy gimmicks, pleasing long time fans and bringing in many more. It was this behaviour that showed just how dedicated and hardworking the crew of SotF are. To them, it isn’t a job. They are artists, and they deeply care about their craft. I worried, but my fears were misplaced, SotF has heard my concerns, and put them to rest long ago. They waited 65 Seasons to implement teams, and it is anything but unbalanced. In fact, this season looks to be far more interesting then even I had expected!
The random starting location has been a staple of SotF for many seasons, and its back yet again. In a nice move from the producers, very few team-mates have been dropped together, no early game overpowered roaming death squads to be seen! While I initially assumed this meant “instant bloodbath” as opposing teams picked off enemies, the opening has been pretty slow to start. But hey, some games are just like that. This entire team dynamic has thrown off even the SotF lovers, it’s something completely new and it looks like everyone is a little hesitant to approach it right away. What I honestly wasn’t expecting was cross-team alliances, something quite a few players have suggested already, Peter Campbell for one. The topic has been popping up a lot within groups, and I can see why it’s an attractive idea. Double the number of attackers, you double your chances at succeeding. Not an assured spot in the finals, but it definitely has its advantages. I can see trouble with it down the road though, namely backstabbing and team-wipes, which are sure to occur if any teams get this plan off the ground. It won’t be a rousing success by any means, but it’ll be entertaining to watch for certain.
Now, I know the producers have assured us time and again that, like for every season, teams and weapons were rolled completely at random. However, every so often I see a coincidence that just makes me think “Yeah, sure. THAT wasn’t totally planned.” I’m talking about the selection of Jack Lemmon for “Loner Boy”, the team-less wonder who many predict to be going out before half. Jack certainly got the short stick, and I’m not saying his death isn’t still a certain thing, it is, don’t worry. But come on, look at him. The producers DO have a heart. He’s drawn a revolver to defend himself with, and he’s already found Holly Herchenroder, his girlfriend. His odds of survival are still minimal, but then again… Holly has grenades. And her running off with Jack, abandoning team-mate Harold Smythe, it looks like he DOES have an ally after all! Likewise, I’m going to chalk up the alliance between Mae St. Clair, Shawn Morrison and Zachariah Johnston as direct producer interference. These characters all have strong links to one another if the promo material is anything to go by. Too often potential plot arcs have been killed off with the death of an important player, and it looks like in recent seasons, the producers have been trying to find ways to stymie that, although not directly. Y’know, I’m going to say I appreciate that. Zach and Shawn are sure to have a confrontation over Mae before too long, which may not have been assured otherwise. That will definitely be one of this seasons most watched clips, I can assure you!
The entire situation brings to mind SotF TV: Season 14; the shortest game we’ve ever had clocking in at just under 18 hours. (The ultimate winner being Georgia “Hatchet” LaLourvey.) Like Season 65, Season 14 was a time of change, upheavals within the SotF organization, and rule changes in an attempt to liven things up. The low ratings of Season 14 killed nearly all attempts at innovation thereafter, and while we can’t tire of good ol’SotF, I sometimes can’t help but look back and wonder... What would have happened if the new rules had worked as planned? Would SotF: TV be the same great show we know and love, or would it be worse? Perhaps it might be something entirely new, refreshing and spectacular with its own distinct style? We’ll never know. If one good thing came out of Season 14, it was the new attitude displayed by the SotF Crew, hesitance to tweak with the pitch perfect formula. SotF: TV went back to modification and fine-tuning rather than flashy gimmicks, pleasing long time fans and bringing in many more. It was this behaviour that showed just how dedicated and hardworking the crew of SotF are. To them, it isn’t a job. They are artists, and they deeply care about their craft. I worried, but my fears were misplaced, SotF has heard my concerns, and put them to rest long ago. They waited 65 Seasons to implement teams, and it is anything but unbalanced. In fact, this season looks to be far more interesting then even I had expected!
The random starting location has been a staple of SotF for many seasons, and its back yet again. In a nice move from the producers, very few team-mates have been dropped together, no early game overpowered roaming death squads to be seen! While I initially assumed this meant “instant bloodbath” as opposing teams picked off enemies, the opening has been pretty slow to start. But hey, some games are just like that. This entire team dynamic has thrown off even the SotF lovers, it’s something completely new and it looks like everyone is a little hesitant to approach it right away. What I honestly wasn’t expecting was cross-team alliances, something quite a few players have suggested already, Peter Campbell for one. The topic has been popping up a lot within groups, and I can see why it’s an attractive idea. Double the number of attackers, you double your chances at succeeding. Not an assured spot in the finals, but it definitely has its advantages. I can see trouble with it down the road though, namely backstabbing and team-wipes, which are sure to occur if any teams get this plan off the ground. It won’t be a rousing success by any means, but it’ll be entertaining to watch for certain.
Now, I know the producers have assured us time and again that, like for every season, teams and weapons were rolled completely at random. However, every so often I see a coincidence that just makes me think “Yeah, sure. THAT wasn’t totally planned.” I’m talking about the selection of Jack Lemmon for “Loner Boy”, the team-less wonder who many predict to be going out before half. Jack certainly got the short stick, and I’m not saying his death isn’t still a certain thing, it is, don’t worry. But come on, look at him. The producers DO have a heart. He’s drawn a revolver to defend himself with, and he’s already found Holly Herchenroder, his girlfriend. His odds of survival are still minimal, but then again… Holly has grenades. And her running off with Jack, abandoning team-mate Harold Smythe, it looks like he DOES have an ally after all! Likewise, I’m going to chalk up the alliance between Mae St. Clair, Shawn Morrison and Zachariah Johnston as direct producer interference. These characters all have strong links to one another if the promo material is anything to go by. Too often potential plot arcs have been killed off with the death of an important player, and it looks like in recent seasons, the producers have been trying to find ways to stymie that, although not directly. Y’know, I’m going to say I appreciate that. Zach and Shawn are sure to have a confrontation over Mae before too long, which may not have been assured otherwise. That will definitely be one of this seasons most watched clips, I can assure you!
Monday, April 18, 2011
Black Team Analysis by MidnightQ
BEGIN TRANSMISSION:
Greetings readers,
It has come to my attention that the much-awaited event is upon us. That event, of course, is the next season of SOTF-TV. For the uneducated among you, I am MidnightQ. Those who know me from my solo writing projects, feel free to stir up discussion on how I’ve ‘abased myself concerning the interests of the lowest common denominator yet again’. Those of you of who do not, know that I am as much of an avid fan of SOTF as the rest of you. Comrdade_Snowball has asked me to offer my insight on the new players, and I have accepted the offer. Now then, I do believe it is time to bring a bit more intellectual criticism to the current season.
I have in my possession a leaked copy of the team roster. Yes, the ‘secret surprise’ is the formation of teams. This far into the lifetime of the game, I should have expected no less. In particular, I have a copy of the Black Team roster. Black Team’s insignia is a white skull. I find this rather amusing. A symbol surely meant to inspire fear into the hearts of their enemies will instead end up as a symbol for their inevitable end. Black Team does not consist of winners. Of that you can all be sure. However, this does not necessarily mean that they are incapable of victory. I’ve been pleasantly surprised by such types of contestants before. I do hope that the members of Black Team do not disappoint.
On to the analysis.
THE MENTOR
I must say I find it hilariously cruel that none other than Pete Finch himself will be mentoring the team. I’m sure you all remember Mr. Finch. The many little jabs taken at him all over the Internet, including this very site, surely indicate such. Well, it seems he’s been given a chance to redeem himself after his incredibly inept blunder back when SOTF was first proposed. The more than superficially interested fans of the show may recall that he was initially propositioned to host it. Of course, he turned it down. Honestly sometimes I do wonder how it would have turned out with him at the forefront. Would it have been the SOTF we all know and love? Or would it have an unrecognizable failure of the worst sort that would have been cancelled and dropped quicker than Mr. Finch’s other ventures back into the world of TV? I’m inclined to think the latter.
Regardless of his personal performance, the matter at hand is whether or not he’ll be any good for the team. I have a definitive answer for that. The answer is no. I made it quite clear that Black Team isn’t made to win, and this choice of a mentor only cements that fact. What good can Mr. Finch possibly bring to the team? Nothing, that is what he brings. He has nothing useful to offer concerning the survival of the members, the strategy of the game, or the leadership skills to guide them to victory as unlikely as that is for them. In summation: he is quite possibly the worst mentor possible to be assigned to the team. This may seem a harsh conclusion. I assure you, the game will be harsher. And this setup will not help.
THE STUDENTS
BLK1: Bob Lazenby
Bob seems to be an average boy. He is of average height, is slightly out-of-shape, and is not particularly attractive. But on average, a contestant’s body type has very little effect on how well they play the game. That depends mostly on the contestant’s mental fortitude. Mr. Lazenby has been assigned a Laser Pointer. Another ‘joke’ weapon, which I am inclined to believe thanks to the frequency that they are assigned to ‘hopeless loser’ candidates, means the producers themselves have no illusions of what’s going to happen to poor Bob. (Hopeless loser being the words of a highly respected fan blog, not mine. You know the one.) So, the weapon given to him will certainly not help his mental state. My prediction for him is as follows: he will die early; most likely one of, if not the first to die. A sad outcome for Bob, an inevitably of life for everyone else, and a convincing argument that there is no meaning to life.
For what meaning does this cold existence have when a child who has no outstanding qualities whatsoever is thrown into a gladiatorial death match for the amusement of his peers, all of them knowing full well he will never make it? It is almost enough to make me cry. Well, actually that was a lie but I want to feel sorry for the poor boy.
BLK2: Natalie ‘Nate’ Chauncey
I’ll be honest. When I glanced at the photo attached to the roster I assumed that ‘Nate’ was a boy. It was nothing more than a cursory glance, but it was enough to make that assumption. Natalie, if you should somehow ever get to read this… I apologize. Anyway, Miss Chauncey is one of those girls that do not seem to understand that thinness does not equate beauty. Oh Miss Chauncey, if only it took root in your mind that the attempts of a consumerist society to redefine beauty into a narrow set of parameters need not apply to you, or any woman for that matter. Though, this advice applies only to your body. Your sense of fashion… well in the words of those more experienced in those matters than I, it ‘needs some work’. Miss Chauncey has been assigned, a Dragunov. An interesting choice, to say the least. It’s becoming more apparent that the producers of the show simply hand off weapon assignments to the interns. If those interns were humans rather than the shrieking monkeys I assume the studio keeps, perhaps situations like this would not happen. My prediction for her is as follows: she is not only physically incapable of using that gun but she is also mentally incapable. Expect her to be nothing more than a burden to her team, assuming she doesn’t take the easy way out.
Another harsh assessment, but not as harsh as the game is going to be. Miss Chauncey, I wish you the best of luck I really do. But I have no illusions of your ability to make it. The game will go to those capable of performing the actions required to make it to the end. Frankly my dear, you simply do not have the capability. Nevertheless, I’ll be rooting for you.
BLK3: Holly Herchenroder
Question for you. What’s more of a mouthful than that name? The answer is, of course, the amount of alcohol one would have to consume to become inebriated enough to believe that this team stands a chance. ‘Why the harsh conclusion already, MidnightQ? You haven’t even talked about Holly yet!’ That is correct reader. And it is unfair. So I’ll talk a little bit about Miss Herchenroder. (God I can feel my jaw breaking already. Let’s call her Holly shall we? Good? Great.) Holly may not be physically imposing, and honestly how many people on this team are… seriously, but mentally she has to be more than up to the task… right? Other than the pot-smoking habit, which I don’t approve of, I can find little fault with her. So why am I so harsh on her. Well it’s not her I’m being harsh on. It’s the rest of her team. Honestly Holly might be the one person who could make it here, especially with those fragmentation grenades she got assigned. It would be even better if she could take useless Nate’s Dragunov. But too bad for Holly, she got stuck in quite possibly the worst team I’ve ever seen. My prediction for her is as follows: the others on her team will drag her down to death. Plain and simple. Sorry love.
Is that not always the case? Are not the true geniuses and excellent people among the populace always dragged down by those not at their level? I am not exactly sure that Holly belongs to the former category, but among her peers on Black Team she may as well be. Holly, I do feel bad for you. I’d love to just take you in my arms and rescue you from the terrible situation you’ll find yourself in. But I can’t because you’re on your way to the Reaper already. Death is inevitability. It will claim us all… but I sure hope it forgets you.
BLK 4: Harold Finston Smythe
Blue. Blue, more blue, and more goddamn blue. I apologize for the cursing but my god is there a reason for this dull and offensive-to-my-eyes color scheme? Aside from the color monotony, Mr. Smythe is physically unattractive as well. But what does that matter? According to his profile here on my desk, he is a gamer and an anime fan. Oh perfect, the two skills that are sure to be more useful than any others on the show. While I am glad that Harold is ‘one of us’ as I’ve heard so many times, the fact of the matter is that the skills gained from playing games and watching cartoons will not help him. (Even if those cartoons come from Japan and are most definitely not of the good-for-young-children kind.) Still, if the older generation is to be believed, perhaps the social and psychological disconnect from the real world all gamers have will help him. And if not, then perhaps his 1927 Thompson A1 MS1B Machine Gun will. (Nice choice monkey interns.) Still, I don’t have my hopes up for him, even with that weapon. My prediction for him is as follows: that gun will pass to someone with the ability to actually use it. He’ll try to be useful, only to fail. I hope that gun passes to Holly.
May I have a word with you, Mr. Smythe? There are more colors out there than blue. But perhaps blue has some sort of special connection to you. Maybe it’s indicative of your sub-conscious awareness of the bleakness of your life. Maybe you’ve somehow tapped into the collective unconscious and emerged enlightened as to your ultimate destiny. Or maybe you just like the color. I can’t speculate on that.
BLK5: Panya Bishara
Panya can I just say that I love you? You are just so lovely that I find myself imagining all sorts of scenarios we could have acted out had you not been selected for the show. Such a waste of beauty, at least she’ll live on in the photos and images she will leave behind. That, and plenty of work-unsafe fiction that will inevitably rise up. (Somehow I have the feeling she’s already appeared in some. I’ll have to investigate.) The one issue I have is this: beauty isn’t anything in this game. Look at the previous seasons Miss Bishara. The gorgeous girls like you think they can just use those looks to their advantage and twist everyone attracted to them around their fingers. It doesn’t work like that. Pretty quickly into the game, you’ll find that if someone wants you for you body… there’s not much stopping them from taking you. Aside from your Firestar M43 that is. Hope you don’t run out of ammo fending off the sexually depraved. My prediction for her is as follows: that charm that she seems to be quite proud of will prove useless within a day. Maybe less. She’ll have to rely on cunning, and will have to use that gun mercilessly if she wants to survive.
Egyptian rose. Flowery language like that is probably nothing new to her. That I’m positive of. But, my little rose, the place you’re going to be in is full of all manner of beasts intent on tarnishing your beauty and leaving you broken. My advice is to grow out those thorns and throw away any ridiculous notions you may have about using that beauty to get ahead. That has never happened as planned and will never happen as planned. Use your head, not your body. Then you’ll go far.
OVERALL ASSESMENT
I’ve said it before. I’ll say it again. This team isn’t made of winners. Whether they are just physically incapable of doing what needs to be done, mentally unfit to handle the consequences and ramifications of their actions if they do perform what is needed, or just plain not suited to the task set before them there is just no running around the cold facts. And the facts are despite their generally well-armed status, they cannot and will not win. And certainly not with the idiotic choice of a mentor; Mr. Finch had his chance back before Season 1, he has no reason to be here now.
Despite the foregone conclusion, I will say that they will certainly be enjoyable to watch. I know I’ll be keeping a close watch on them. I certainly hope you will as well reader. Feel free to discuss my analysis in the comments. I’d love to hear your opinions. For it’s only opinions that sink deep into our minds, take root, and blossom into our choices.
END TRANMISSION
Greetings readers,
It has come to my attention that the much-awaited event is upon us. That event, of course, is the next season of SOTF-TV. For the uneducated among you, I am MidnightQ. Those who know me from my solo writing projects, feel free to stir up discussion on how I’ve ‘abased myself concerning the interests of the lowest common denominator yet again’. Those of you of who do not, know that I am as much of an avid fan of SOTF as the rest of you. Comrdade_Snowball has asked me to offer my insight on the new players, and I have accepted the offer. Now then, I do believe it is time to bring a bit more intellectual criticism to the current season.
I have in my possession a leaked copy of the team roster. Yes, the ‘secret surprise’ is the formation of teams. This far into the lifetime of the game, I should have expected no less. In particular, I have a copy of the Black Team roster. Black Team’s insignia is a white skull. I find this rather amusing. A symbol surely meant to inspire fear into the hearts of their enemies will instead end up as a symbol for their inevitable end. Black Team does not consist of winners. Of that you can all be sure. However, this does not necessarily mean that they are incapable of victory. I’ve been pleasantly surprised by such types of contestants before. I do hope that the members of Black Team do not disappoint.
On to the analysis.
THE MENTOR
I must say I find it hilariously cruel that none other than Pete Finch himself will be mentoring the team. I’m sure you all remember Mr. Finch. The many little jabs taken at him all over the Internet, including this very site, surely indicate such. Well, it seems he’s been given a chance to redeem himself after his incredibly inept blunder back when SOTF was first proposed. The more than superficially interested fans of the show may recall that he was initially propositioned to host it. Of course, he turned it down. Honestly sometimes I do wonder how it would have turned out with him at the forefront. Would it have been the SOTF we all know and love? Or would it have an unrecognizable failure of the worst sort that would have been cancelled and dropped quicker than Mr. Finch’s other ventures back into the world of TV? I’m inclined to think the latter.
Regardless of his personal performance, the matter at hand is whether or not he’ll be any good for the team. I have a definitive answer for that. The answer is no. I made it quite clear that Black Team isn’t made to win, and this choice of a mentor only cements that fact. What good can Mr. Finch possibly bring to the team? Nothing, that is what he brings. He has nothing useful to offer concerning the survival of the members, the strategy of the game, or the leadership skills to guide them to victory as unlikely as that is for them. In summation: he is quite possibly the worst mentor possible to be assigned to the team. This may seem a harsh conclusion. I assure you, the game will be harsher. And this setup will not help.
THE STUDENTS
BLK1: Bob Lazenby
Bob seems to be an average boy. He is of average height, is slightly out-of-shape, and is not particularly attractive. But on average, a contestant’s body type has very little effect on how well they play the game. That depends mostly on the contestant’s mental fortitude. Mr. Lazenby has been assigned a Laser Pointer. Another ‘joke’ weapon, which I am inclined to believe thanks to the frequency that they are assigned to ‘hopeless loser’ candidates, means the producers themselves have no illusions of what’s going to happen to poor Bob. (Hopeless loser being the words of a highly respected fan blog, not mine. You know the one.) So, the weapon given to him will certainly not help his mental state. My prediction for him is as follows: he will die early; most likely one of, if not the first to die. A sad outcome for Bob, an inevitably of life for everyone else, and a convincing argument that there is no meaning to life.
For what meaning does this cold existence have when a child who has no outstanding qualities whatsoever is thrown into a gladiatorial death match for the amusement of his peers, all of them knowing full well he will never make it? It is almost enough to make me cry. Well, actually that was a lie but I want to feel sorry for the poor boy.
BLK2: Natalie ‘Nate’ Chauncey
I’ll be honest. When I glanced at the photo attached to the roster I assumed that ‘Nate’ was a boy. It was nothing more than a cursory glance, but it was enough to make that assumption. Natalie, if you should somehow ever get to read this… I apologize. Anyway, Miss Chauncey is one of those girls that do not seem to understand that thinness does not equate beauty. Oh Miss Chauncey, if only it took root in your mind that the attempts of a consumerist society to redefine beauty into a narrow set of parameters need not apply to you, or any woman for that matter. Though, this advice applies only to your body. Your sense of fashion… well in the words of those more experienced in those matters than I, it ‘needs some work’. Miss Chauncey has been assigned, a Dragunov. An interesting choice, to say the least. It’s becoming more apparent that the producers of the show simply hand off weapon assignments to the interns. If those interns were humans rather than the shrieking monkeys I assume the studio keeps, perhaps situations like this would not happen. My prediction for her is as follows: she is not only physically incapable of using that gun but she is also mentally incapable. Expect her to be nothing more than a burden to her team, assuming she doesn’t take the easy way out.
Another harsh assessment, but not as harsh as the game is going to be. Miss Chauncey, I wish you the best of luck I really do. But I have no illusions of your ability to make it. The game will go to those capable of performing the actions required to make it to the end. Frankly my dear, you simply do not have the capability. Nevertheless, I’ll be rooting for you.
BLK3: Holly Herchenroder
Question for you. What’s more of a mouthful than that name? The answer is, of course, the amount of alcohol one would have to consume to become inebriated enough to believe that this team stands a chance. ‘Why the harsh conclusion already, MidnightQ? You haven’t even talked about Holly yet!’ That is correct reader. And it is unfair. So I’ll talk a little bit about Miss Herchenroder. (God I can feel my jaw breaking already. Let’s call her Holly shall we? Good? Great.) Holly may not be physically imposing, and honestly how many people on this team are… seriously, but mentally she has to be more than up to the task… right? Other than the pot-smoking habit, which I don’t approve of, I can find little fault with her. So why am I so harsh on her. Well it’s not her I’m being harsh on. It’s the rest of her team. Honestly Holly might be the one person who could make it here, especially with those fragmentation grenades she got assigned. It would be even better if she could take useless Nate’s Dragunov. But too bad for Holly, she got stuck in quite possibly the worst team I’ve ever seen. My prediction for her is as follows: the others on her team will drag her down to death. Plain and simple. Sorry love.
Is that not always the case? Are not the true geniuses and excellent people among the populace always dragged down by those not at their level? I am not exactly sure that Holly belongs to the former category, but among her peers on Black Team she may as well be. Holly, I do feel bad for you. I’d love to just take you in my arms and rescue you from the terrible situation you’ll find yourself in. But I can’t because you’re on your way to the Reaper already. Death is inevitability. It will claim us all… but I sure hope it forgets you.
BLK 4: Harold Finston Smythe
Blue. Blue, more blue, and more goddamn blue. I apologize for the cursing but my god is there a reason for this dull and offensive-to-my-eyes color scheme? Aside from the color monotony, Mr. Smythe is physically unattractive as well. But what does that matter? According to his profile here on my desk, he is a gamer and an anime fan. Oh perfect, the two skills that are sure to be more useful than any others on the show. While I am glad that Harold is ‘one of us’ as I’ve heard so many times, the fact of the matter is that the skills gained from playing games and watching cartoons will not help him. (Even if those cartoons come from Japan and are most definitely not of the good-for-young-children kind.) Still, if the older generation is to be believed, perhaps the social and psychological disconnect from the real world all gamers have will help him. And if not, then perhaps his 1927 Thompson A1 MS1B Machine Gun will. (Nice choice monkey interns.) Still, I don’t have my hopes up for him, even with that weapon. My prediction for him is as follows: that gun will pass to someone with the ability to actually use it. He’ll try to be useful, only to fail. I hope that gun passes to Holly.
May I have a word with you, Mr. Smythe? There are more colors out there than blue. But perhaps blue has some sort of special connection to you. Maybe it’s indicative of your sub-conscious awareness of the bleakness of your life. Maybe you’ve somehow tapped into the collective unconscious and emerged enlightened as to your ultimate destiny. Or maybe you just like the color. I can’t speculate on that.
BLK5: Panya Bishara
Panya can I just say that I love you? You are just so lovely that I find myself imagining all sorts of scenarios we could have acted out had you not been selected for the show. Such a waste of beauty, at least she’ll live on in the photos and images she will leave behind. That, and plenty of work-unsafe fiction that will inevitably rise up. (Somehow I have the feeling she’s already appeared in some. I’ll have to investigate.) The one issue I have is this: beauty isn’t anything in this game. Look at the previous seasons Miss Bishara. The gorgeous girls like you think they can just use those looks to their advantage and twist everyone attracted to them around their fingers. It doesn’t work like that. Pretty quickly into the game, you’ll find that if someone wants you for you body… there’s not much stopping them from taking you. Aside from your Firestar M43 that is. Hope you don’t run out of ammo fending off the sexually depraved. My prediction for her is as follows: that charm that she seems to be quite proud of will prove useless within a day. Maybe less. She’ll have to rely on cunning, and will have to use that gun mercilessly if she wants to survive.
Egyptian rose. Flowery language like that is probably nothing new to her. That I’m positive of. But, my little rose, the place you’re going to be in is full of all manner of beasts intent on tarnishing your beauty and leaving you broken. My advice is to grow out those thorns and throw away any ridiculous notions you may have about using that beauty to get ahead. That has never happened as planned and will never happen as planned. Use your head, not your body. Then you’ll go far.
OVERALL ASSESMENT
I’ve said it before. I’ll say it again. This team isn’t made of winners. Whether they are just physically incapable of doing what needs to be done, mentally unfit to handle the consequences and ramifications of their actions if they do perform what is needed, or just plain not suited to the task set before them there is just no running around the cold facts. And the facts are despite their generally well-armed status, they cannot and will not win. And certainly not with the idiotic choice of a mentor; Mr. Finch had his chance back before Season 1, he has no reason to be here now.
Despite the foregone conclusion, I will say that they will certainly be enjoyable to watch. I know I’ll be keeping a close watch on them. I certainly hope you will as well reader. Feel free to discuss my analysis in the comments. I’d love to hear your opinions. For it’s only opinions that sink deep into our minds, take root, and blossom into our choices.
END TRANMISSION
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