SickKitty Bitches About Teams

Right. So after the temporary delay in your regularly scheduled "me yelling at you all for being idiots" because of a broken laptop, a very small drug induced coma, and Max being a complete and utter asshole, I'm back! And I'm here to fill your lives with my wonderful bitching! Huzzah!

Let's talk about the fake teams, shall we? Several groups of wanna be survivors have grouped together despite the fact that they should be murdering each other. Among them is the mess that is Shawn Morrison and Ben Whatshisface.

After a while of Ben being completely stupid with his weapon (an entire bag of bandannas), he figured out how to use it to his advantage, and is now lying to Shawn and saying that they're on the same team. Shawn has no reason not to believe this, despite the fact that his mentor pretty much told him not to trust Ben. In fairness though, that mentor talks in the most complicated ways. Stupid, really. If Shawn was on Jarred's team, then Ben would be dead. However, this already fragile alliance got even more fragile after Shawn murdered Jaszmine Johnson with a snake.

Actually, that reminds me! The Most Amusing Kill Thusfar Award goes to Shawn for that display! Snake death. Who woulda thought?

What was I saying? Oh, yeah. Basically, if Shawn doesn't figure out by morning that Ben- who now has a gun- isn't on his team, then it's because Ben finally did something smart and murdered him.

Or because Shawn is a stoner and most of his braincells are really quite dead.

Moving on!

Up next is the weird mini-team of Jhamel Thomson, Jeanette Beunindia or however you spell it, April Stone, and Brenda Hernandez.

...Oh, and also that Eloise chick, but she doesn't really count because she's not very interesting.

Man, if these four (I'm sorry, five) weren't as terrible at this game as they are, they would almost be kind of fun to watch! I mean, between the group hug, getting a wrench thrown at them, Jeanette deciding to be a player and only telling April, Brenda being a really terrible Team Mom, Eloise wandering off to die, and brilliant product placement of Cliff Bars, there's something for everyone!

Except intelligent people, who would tell you that forming a supergroup based on two separate teams is stupid, especially when one of those teams (*coughBROWNcough*) has no good weapons, while the other has a gun, a wrench, and a knife between two people. Seriously, Jeanette, Jhamel, I get that you're trying to be nice, but get your shit together and start killing before I get my shit together and change the channel.

There's also the downright bizarre team of Marcus Walker and Anna Higgins. I don't even know where to begin on that one. Just...what? I mean, seriously, what. I really want Marcus to start killing people. If he gets rid of the annoying white girl first, well then...I wouldn't be complaining. Just saying.

Other than that, these team-ups have been pretty dreadful. I mean, it's not that they aren't amusing, it's just that so far really only Karen Ruiz has figured out that teams or not, it's kill or be killed. Why hasn't any full team joined up to start killing? That's what I would do. And hey, think of it this way, you're actually saving lives! More people on your team decide to kill, the more people on your team survive. It's win win!

Seriously folks, get your game on.

Right, well, I've got to go find a way to make Max let me back into our apartment. Until then, follow me on twitter @KittyMcHugh, and stay tuned! I promise more fake awards and wonderful drinking games will abound! Cheers!

Quickfire Recap (By Location!) by RNN [Part 7]

RAIN FOREST:

So I was going to do a run through on everything that happened in this location, but then I went on vacation. Well, I'll quickly recap the most recent stuff as I'm sure most of you already watched the early stuff.

Suzanne Lanford gets robbed by Glen Bole as they both shout out to the blogs. Glen actually succeeded in doing something!

At one point a fight broke out between Zachariah Johnston (Yes him again) and Harold Finston Smythe. They talked crapped against each other while Mae St. Clair watched as Zach brutally killed Harold, from apparently a kick to the groin - which I might add is hilarious. Then Shawn Morrison appears causing Zach to run away in what I can only assume is embarrassment after a *ShawnMorrgasm.

Another attractive guy was also in the rain forest. Mr. Leopold Sutherland walked around shirtless in the jungle. Oh and that was basically the WHOLE Segment. Just walking around shirtless in the jungle. Wonderful.

As we've seen before, Todd Hudson has had bad luck. He was robbed by a monkey of his bandanna and now his clothes! He met up, naked, with another bad luck magnet in Sean Davidson. Then they both run away after Axel Stadler and Anna Higgins from Blue show up and then team up.

Sean runs into Jaszmine Johnson eventually, who for the first time Sean doesn't get into a bad situation with. They eventually part ways, where Jaszmine ends up having the worse luck of the two. Is Sean's bad luck, contagious?

Finally the normally upbeat Mason Ross sings "Lion Sleeps Tonight" for us and then switches into what looks like depression when his partner Kevin Fielding's neck inexplicably blows up for no reason. I'm still trying to figure out what could have caused that. He had his bandanna on, so it couldn't have been that. Whatever the case, poor Mason. Love the boy and his talking to the camera ways.

Star of the Scene: Todd Hudson and his exploits in the rain forest will forever be remembered. He is truly King of the Jungle.

HOT SPOT:

A favorite scene for Nery "If You Can't Stand the Heat" features two comedy characters that are great to see, both of which had been beaten up by Vincent Sullivan and had their noses broken, one worse than the other. They team up in what Nery describes as the greatest alliance in all of SOTF-TV Season 65. They are entertainment gold apparently and together even better.

The scene starts off awkward with both boys meeting up sweaty and shirtless, with Glen Bole attempting to be sexy for the cameras and the smaller Jonas Jeffries stripping to reveal his child like body due to the obvious heat. The mentor speaks and tells them that they are being called 'the gay team' which Jonas and his broken nose takes in quietly and backs away slowly from Glen as a response. Glen on the other hand who is pissed off and starts ranting THEN...

For some weird reason Todd Hudson comes running in naked and jumps into the crater! He screams on his way down and the two boys on Pink team give loud screams of their own. It was a tremendous WTF?! Moment!

Star of the Scene: This is an All Star Cast! The three of them are great comic relief!

Quickfire Recap (By Location!) by RNN [Part 2]

OPEN PLAINS:

A lot happened here... Let's see where we should start. Devonte, Marcus and Skye have some nice buddy time here. Cute almost.

Several fights. Vincent Sullivan vs Madelyn Conner, where they bruised each other pretty bad, but Vincent gained a paddle from it. Marvia Jones vs a personal favorite in Karen Ruiz, where Karen gained more fire power and finally Zachariah Johnston vs Marion Clayton where Marion gained a melted face. I still shudder from that one.

Currently a group made of mostly Green team and Sidney Rice are slumbering in the episode "Shun the Non-Believer." It's only a matter of time before something horrible happens there! Otherwise why would the producers title it like that? I'm sure of it.

Also currently ongoing are meetings between Michael Marshall and cute Nate Chauncy and another involving Marcus Walker and two of blue! Anna Higgins and Axel Stadler.

Star of the Scene: Anna Higgins. "Marky Mark!" Hahaha, the delivery of that line was great.

RESORT HOTEL:

The ongoing episode is "Metanoia" where the sexy - I mean, dirty hippie, Shawn Morrison and his fellow wing man Ben-o Grayson (love it!) start searching for people and useful stuff in the Hotel. Ben is still pretending to be Gold with Shawn, while Shawn seems upset about something from the announcements. His friend died or something? Anyway he remedies this by - how else? Smoking Pot of course! In typical Shawn fashion, when his mentor Drake starts giving him advice Shawn freaks out and thinks a snake it talking to him. Love the humorous music they played softly in the background for that part.

Then something -shocking- happens, but that would be spoiling what Nery will cover in the Contestant Spotlight. We'll have to wait and see what happens to the duo of sexy hipster Shawn and the adorable Ben-O, thanks to that cliff hanger they gave us.

Star of the Scene: I'd like to give both members of this duo the spotlight, but Shawn Morrison getting high and doing *something else* earns him the credit here.

Comrade_Snowball's Game Recap #2

Well here it is Ladies and Gentlemen, you’ve waited patiently, and Karen Ruiz has finally delivered! Anthony Rollins is the first cast member to clock out this season, the very first kill of Season 65! And boy what a kill it was. I’ll admit it, I didn’t see this kill coming. The group Anthony was rolling with (Pardon the pun) was very tight. Sterling and Amber were allied with Karen, and I hadn’t expected her to open fire, especially after Amber’s tirade.

But she did anyways, prompting thousands upon thousands of pages of discussion on the official SotF Fan Forums. The twittersphere has been on fire; #KarenRuiz has topped the hashtag list for at least the past three days since the footage went live. People all around the country have been asking, just what is she playing at? Is Karen off her rocker like “Reverand” Smythe? Or is she simply thinking ahead? Could she be going after the ten kills?

I’m sad to see Anthony go. But regardless, his death has certainly left quite an impression on the game. Pink Team was never the strongest team, but they ranked at least Mid-Tier. But now with the loss of Anthony (and the continued stupidity of Jonas, Glen and Ben) they’re looking to be an early out.

Anthony wasn’t the only victim. Karen Ruiz managed to inflict quite the nasty wound to resident lunatic Ali White, blowing a finger clean off. It was a lucky shot that is sure to plague her until her inevitable demise. So far this Season has been rather lax on injuries, again, many people are decrying the slow start, but I’m thinking the exact opposite. Getting to know these characters makes the wounds and the death all the more shocking, and all the more brutal. I know I jumped when Ali was attacked. She’s a loony, (even BEFORE SotF: TV) but she is one of the fan favourites, and I myself have grown particularly fond of watching her exploits.

Speaking of fan favourites, take a look over at the tag list on the sidebar. As you can no doubt see, we’ve got a few notable names already in Season 65. The power trio of Shawn, Mae, and Zach have kept the shipping and fan fiction sections of the forum busy as hell, and it isn’t hard to see why. Interesting to note here, while ShawnxMae is wildly regarded as the better of the pairings, at least in the public eye, a quick look around any SotF fansite will reveal QUITE a lot of ZachxMae shippers on the net. Why is this? I don’t mean to offend here, but I sense some serious wish fulfillment going on.

Zach is the ultimate White Knight, and judging from the pre-game footage gathered he’s been harbouring a major crush on Mae for months, maybe years. Mae St. Clair is, to be blunt, beautiful. She’s witty and nice, and more importantly for the fans out there, she talks to Zach, the social challenged boy that he is, and even MORE importantly, she treats him with respect. When SotF was in the early stages, it first caught hold on the internet; the chans and the “nerd” demographic took hold of it and made it their own. This was their show, their chance to dream. What would it be like to kill your enemies, kill anyone who’s ever hated you? It’s one of the things so appealing about SotF: TV, the revenge and the righteous anger dealt out with no penalty. Zach has been aptly dubbed “The Love Martyr”, and he’s one of us. Anyone who’s ever fallen head over heels in love, everyone in the dark corners of the net who’ve been picked on and persecuted, they’re in Zach’s corner. When you think about it, we’ve all got a little bit of Zach in us. While you might not hear him talked about much in public rest assured, he’s a fan favourite. It’s too early to declare him my favourite, but he ranks up with Ali as a definite favourite, at least for me.

As you can see from the tags, other popular students include Marvia Jones, Panya Bishara and Sidney Rice. It’d rather obvious as to why; Marvia’s sex scene has easily been the most overplayed clip this season. Panya Bishara is another hottie, and Sidney has spent her game thus far bouncing around in a bunny costume. Ahhh fan service.

Little note on Marvia and Sidney here. While Panya has remained mostly neutral at this point (Debate is still raging on whether she is playing or not). Marvia has clearly shown she’s got a villainous streak going, beating on Nate Chauncey, stealing her things and then allying with the clearly insane Harold Smythe. (Who might win the record for fastest mental breakdown in SotF: TV, ever!) Sidney likewise, is clearly playing from her actions on the cruise ship. Often times on SotF we find girls who try to strike that ever so desired “Femme Fatale” status, utilizing looks and violence in equal measure to win the game. It’s never been truly achieved, although many have gotten close. Could this be their strategy?

Looks like we’ll have to stay tuned to find out!

I thank you once more for your continued reading! Feel free to voice your opinion down in the comments! This is Comrade_Snowball, signing off!

The SotF Drinking Game! (Rules by SickKitty)

Hello lovelies! Okay, for those of you following me on Twitter, you know that I've been spending most of Day 1 completely and utterly drunk. Why? Because I've been developing the super secret ultra drinking game! This year we had a lot of good rules floating around, but I've narrowed it down to the absolute BEST ways to get as hammered as possible. Ready? Let's go!

(A note. Do NOT do all of these at one time, or else your liver will start to look like mine. And that's not a good thing darlings.)

Alright. Here be the rules!

1. Take a shot everytime someone changes clothes. Into an outfit, out of an outfit, doesn't matter. If clothes are coming off, shots are going down.

2. Take a shot everytime Zach Johnson gets overshadowed by the sexy godliness that is Shawn Morrison.

3. Take a shot everytime someone makes an absolutely awful pun. Announcers, mentors, and students are all fair game for this one, as are bloggers, Twitters, commentators- ANYONE MAKING A PUN WILL RESULT IN A SHOT.

4. Take a shot everytime someone from Detroit drops an n-bomb.

5. Take three shots everytime from Silver Dragon drops an n-bomb.

IF DRINKING WITH FRIENDS:

6. Everytime Shawn Morrison appears onscreen, the last person to yell DIRTY HIPPIE must take a shot.

7. Everytime Sidney Rice appears on screen, everyone must scream a month in consecutive order. (So the first time she appears, January, the second, February). The person who says December must down 4 shots.

8. Everytime someone speaks in a language other than English, pour a shot into the communal glass.

9. Everytime someone fires a gun and misses, pour a shot into the communal glass.

10. Everytime someone says something along the lines of "I never thought this would happen to me" or "I don't want to be here" pour two shots into the communal glass.

11. Everytime Ben Grayson switches bandanna's, pour a shot into the communal glass.

12. Everyone pick a team. If the first person to die was on the team you picked, you must down the entire communal glass. (Pick well dearies, this one'll hurt.)

13. Take a shot everytime someone kills someone else. If the person has killed more than one person, take a shot for every person they killed. (So if it's their fourth kill, four shots.)

14. And FINALLY, the last person to pass out must drink the rest of whatever you're drinking. Because otherwise you're no fun.

Righto! If you're still alive in the morning, you can start all over again! Have fun, and take lots of pills for those wicked hangovers! Till next time, this is SickKitty signing out!

The Starties! [Hosted by SickKitty] (Part 2)

(Part 2) continued...

The 55 in a 54 Zone Prize for "best and blackest" heads over to Devonte Washington for quite possibly being the only reason to ever move to Detroit ever. Seriously. He's so black that if I stand next to him for too long, I'll probably get a killer tan. Haters gonna hate Devonte, but you keep doing your thing, g.

The How the Fuck Do I Work This Award goes to Jonas Jeffries for pretty much attacking the entire universe with bullets. I think one flew through my TV and broke my vase. Well, Max's vase. Well, Max's mom's prized Vase from ancient times. It wasn't like I knocked it over while drunkenly dancing or anything. Nope. It was all Jonas up in this. Honest.

The Best for the Ad Execs prize goes to Jeanette Buendia for flashing the cameras. Let's be honest, if that amazing ass isn't all over the DVD box covers, then the producers have failed us all.

AND FINALLY:

The SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH award goes to Anna Higgins. Who screamed. And did nothing else. Oh my god SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH.

Honorable mentions include the Rosaline Prize for "most forgotten love interest" toZachariah Johnson, who will never live up to the godly sexy godliness of sex that is Shawn Morrison, and the Little Jimmy is Feeling New Things Down There Award for "most awkward moment to become sexually aroused" to Bobby Goldman for getting a massive erection at the sight of Amber Lyons. No worries Bobby, those things you're feeling are a perfectly natural part of growing up.

Alrighty lovers, SickKitty is out for now. Remember to keep your pretty ears peeled for the first Season 65 Max and Kitty podcast, and until next time, keep on stripping ladies!

The Fanservice 5! by Hollysparkles

Who's the cutest boy in Season 65!?

OMG Hi you guys, this is HollySparkles here asking the most DUH-TASTIC question of all! Who is the cutest boy on the island? Now, I've like been painstakingly watching like, every second up until this point, and I've totally narrowed it down to these five boys. OMG CHECK OUT THE HAWTNESS:

1. GLD4: Shawn Morrison. OMG you guys you totally knew that I was going to put him first!!!! Here me out though, he's sweet, adorable (those EYES) sensitive, loves animals and had GREAT hair. I think he is a vegetarian which totally just makes him CUTER.

Pros: He is totally chill and sweet and omg. Did you see him give those flowers to Mae? SO ROMANTIC. Like, his eyes again? OMG his eyes.

Cons: That slut Mae St. Clair. He spends way too much time drooling over her (I was crushed when I watched that promo "Rescue Mission" just let the stupid drunk bitch drown!)

Conclusion: I am like, shipping him with only one person, ME. Now drop that stupid whore and get with a girl who REALLY loves you. (Me.)

2. BRN1: Nick Simmons. I know he's like not the most popular choice, but I TOTALLY DIG his blond hair, you know? There are a lot of blondes this season but I think Nick really like hot.

Pros: His hair duuuhhh, but he loves grunge and I am totally all about that. OMG CAN HE PLAY GUITAR? Someone find his facebook page lol.

Cons: He's poor. He's like. Really poor. He also curses a lot and come on how can you take that home to your mother? At least so far he hasn't been horrible or anything in game....which reminds me....

3. YLW5: Jake Langston. Another blonde boy!!! This one is cute (although he looks like, so sad) and he seemed nice in the promos, but now he seems to have a sort of jerk streak. I mean, maybe he just needs the right girl, AM I RIGHT? OMG. <3

Pros: He definitely plays guitar and has adorable eyes. Also super tall.

Cons: I read on some other blog that he had a girlfriend, then omg he mentions that it's Madelyn Connor and they aren't even on the same team. DROP HER. LOL. JUST LIKE, BREAK UP WITH HER. Also, he hasn't gotten off to like, any sort of good start in the game, he was really mean when he waved that gun at Bob Lazenby.

4. PRP5: Sterling Odair. Another one that is like, totally obvious. Sterling has great eyes and omg his hair. You just want to run your fingers through it amiright? I mean like, I heard some things on the internet and this guy is totally for the fanfiction.

Pros: THOSE EYES. Rivaling Shawn Morrison's in how pretty. And THAT HAIR. I'd pay to touch it I think. I would like, totally pay to touch it. ALSO he's bisexual and like, how hot is that? You should ship him with anyone. Like, totally anyone.

Cons: He threw out his asspants. HOW CAN YOU THROW OUT YOUR ASSPANTS, STERLING?

5. W04: Leopold Sutherland. By far the most squeeworthy to me, but then again it's because I like them rich and skinny lol amiright? He's very broody and also blond. Lol what is it with me and blondes?

Pros: Um. RICH? Um. Like, he's like a prince!? Also I think he got a Doctor Who outfit so I've already started a fanfiction where he replaces the doctor.

Cons: So far he's just been brooding on the show, I really really really super can't wait for him to start doing stuff!! Also he threw away his weapon, omg it would have been totally hot if he ran into Sterling with that thing. LOL get it? Ran into? ;-)


So those are my top five picks! Honorable mentions go to: Cesar Perdomo, Skyler Thsani, and Mason Ross. Who are your favorites, viewers? Girls are totally welcome too!!!!

Mad Max's Rest of The Crap

Yawn. After the first couple hours, this game is shaping up- just like the last few seasons, to be the who’s who of who cares.

So, in light of this game being full of losers and bigger losers, I’m taking it upon myself to sift through the hours of footage and provide you will my highlight reel of expert opinion.

Welcome, peeps, to Mad Max’s Rest of the Crap.

No insights/interviews/columns today, seeing as everyone's busy watching/writing right now, so you guys will just have to make do with Quickfire crap and the usual stuff I put at the end.

Quickfire Crap:

Best … awkward love triangle goes to Mae St. Clair the hoe, Shawn Morrison the hippie and Zachariah Johnson the Snake-Eater for their surprisingly good scene in the waterfall. Kitty no doubt has Mae stripping DVR’d.

RIP Snake, by the way. You were a true American hero. Goodnight, Sweet Prince.

Worst … way of stealing a bandanna ever, Marvia Jones. Also, ratings and lesbians or not, I may or may not have raged at the stupidity of Natalie Chauncey and Marvia there, so stop sending me your “OMG DID U SEE MARVIA/NATE” messages while drooling at your keyboard.

Seriously, I’m surprised at how quickly people have adjusted to the teams. Actually can’t wait to see how they all form together.

I’d love it if… Ben Grayson would actually use the bandannas to his advantage, rather than just randomly putting one on like a tard.

Please kill… Harold Smythe. There’s no way this guy isn’t going to hurt himself. Also Nate, for taking MDMA from strangers. It’s the nicest way.

No Highight/Darklight of the Night yet, since it’s the morning still. So we’ll have good old Best Start/Worst Start instead.

Best Start: Todd Hudson, for creating a whole bunch of racial arguments on the internet after pulling a Harlem Heat and calling someone the n-word.

Worst Start: Tie: Poor John Benson just can’t catch a break. A fitting punishment for hitting Team Brown’s Mom with a Nerf Gun. Nate Chauncey takes MDMA and gets date raped and robbed. That’s just bad.

Until next week, follow me on twitter at @MadMax3967, send hate mail to electricworry21@gmail.com, and be jealous.

Comrade_Snowball's Game Recap #1 PART 1

From the start of this season, I knew there would be issues within the groups. I was apprehensive, thinking this Season would end up being a test run of sorts. I was worried the team dynamic simply wouldn’t WORK the first time around, result in a quick game as one overpowered team swept across the island, entertaining, but boring.


The entire situation brings to mind SotF TV: Season 14; the shortest game we’ve ever had clocking in at just under 18 hours. (The ultimate winner being Georgia “Hatchet” LaLourvey.) Like Season 65, Season 14 was a time of change, upheavals within the SotF organization, and rule changes in an attempt to liven things up. The low ratings of Season 14 killed nearly all attempts at innovation thereafter, and while we can’t tire of good ol’SotF, I sometimes can’t help but look back and wonder... What would have happened if the new rules had worked as planned? Would SotF: TV be the same great show we know and love, or would it be worse? Perhaps it might be something entirely new, refreshing and spectacular with its own distinct style? We’ll never know. If one good thing came out of Season 14, it was the new attitude displayed by the SotF Crew, hesitance to tweak with the pitch perfect formula. SotF: TV went back to modification and fine-tuning rather than flashy gimmicks, pleasing long time fans and bringing in many more. It was this behaviour that showed just how dedicated and hardworking the crew of SotF are. To them, it isn’t a job. They are artists, and they deeply care about their craft. I worried, but my fears were misplaced, SotF has heard my concerns, and put them to rest long ago. They waited 65 Seasons to implement teams, and it is anything but unbalanced. In fact, this season looks to be far more interesting then even I had expected!


The random starting location has been a staple of SotF for many seasons, and its back yet again. In a nice move from the producers, very few team-mates have been dropped together, no early game overpowered roaming death squads to be seen! While I initially assumed this meant “instant bloodbath” as opposing teams picked off enemies, the opening has been pretty slow to start. But hey, some games are just like that. This entire team dynamic has thrown off even the SotF lovers, it’s something completely new and it looks like everyone is a little hesitant to approach it right away. What I honestly wasn’t expecting was cross-team alliances, something quite a few players have suggested already, Peter Campbell for one. The topic has been popping up a lot within groups, and I can see why it’s an attractive idea. Double the number of attackers, you double your chances at succeeding. Not an assured spot in the finals, but it definitely has its advantages. I can see trouble with it down the road though, namely backstabbing and team-wipes, which are sure to occur if any teams get this plan off the ground. It won’t be a rousing success by any means, but it’ll be entertaining to watch for certain.


Now, I know the producers have assured us time and again that, like for every season, teams and weapons were rolled completely at random. However, every so often I see a coincidence that just makes me think “Yeah, sure. THAT wasn’t totally planned.” I’m talking about the selection of Jack Lemmon for “Loner Boy”, the team-less wonder who many predict to be going out before half. Jack certainly got the short stick, and I’m not saying his death isn’t still a certain thing, it is, don’t worry. But come on, look at him. The producers DO have a heart. He’s drawn a revolver to defend himself with, and he’s already found Holly Herchenroder, his girlfriend. His odds of survival are still minimal, but then again… Holly has grenades. And her running off with Jack, abandoning team-mate Harold Smythe, it looks like he DOES have an ally after all! Likewise, I’m going to chalk up the alliance between Mae St. Clair, Shawn Morrison and Zachariah Johnston as direct producer interference. These characters all have strong links to one another if the promo material is anything to go by. Too often potential plot arcs have been killed off with the death of an important player, and it looks like in recent seasons, the producers have been trying to find ways to stymie that, although not directly. Y’know, I’m going to say I appreciate that. Zach and Shawn are sure to have a confrontation over Mae before too long, which may not have been assured otherwise. That will definitely be one of this seasons most watched clips, I can assure you!

Gold Team Analysis by Ajax-Kun

Hello once more, readers! It’s the ever excitable Ajax-Kun here, trying to make up for my lack of quality with quantity!

So, what wonderful team am I going to be looking over? Well, I’m going to be looking at a golden opportunity for many exciting moments, and I’d like to give a gold star to whoever put this team together!

Yup, I’ll be taking a look at the Gold Team!

The Mentor;

The mentor for this team, is the “Gambler”, Drake Fortune. The few of you, who (Like me) decided to put a few bob down on the outcome of SOTF, that name might sound a little familiar. That’s because this guy pretty much made his livelihood off of a few lucky guesses, good judgement, and a healthy dose of charisma!

This guy even ran his own bookies at some point, so he obviously has decent organisational skills, which are going to be needed, given the rather… complex, shall we say, nature of the team..

On the upside, he is probably the only person on this team that isn’t going to be shipped to high hell! Unless someone decides that strip poker between the mentors is a great idea.

Crap, I just gave the fangirls ideas again, didn’t I?

In conclusion, he is, like so many other mentors, a joke. I cant see him actually helping, unless they let him be their eye in the sky. He’ll be too busy placing bets on the market to put his organisational skills to use, anyways.

The Team;

Mae St. Clair.

TL;DR: A Manipulative Ice queen, with a love for ballet, and not much else

Mae is, from what was written in the bio, a very cold, but very attractive person. Her dependence on her parents seems all consuming, and her ability to wrap people around her little finger (Read; manipulate) is almost omniscent! (Hey Sonya/Crawford, remind you of anyone?)

She has all the hallmarks of a smart player, and she is probably one of the fittest members of this round of SOTF so far. Her looks don’t do it for me, but judging by the Promo Material episode “Rescue Mission”, she does it for the vast majority of SDA.

Speaking of “Rescue Mission”, this girl is at the centre of what looks to be one of the most entertaining love triangles I’ve seen so far! This bodes even better for the girl, as she has two guys, who are likely to think with their dicks and get themselves killed for her. One of them isn’t even on the team!
I’m seeing a new face of Defrosting the Ice-Queen/Dom! Fics here, and definitely some Possession Sue fics. Hell, I wouldn’t rule the first two happening ingame, especially given her team-mates!

Expect to see her and her Katana in Endgame. The only question, is how much blood will she have on her hands by the end of it?

Todd Hudson.

TL;DR: A spoiled brat with stupid hair.

The first thing you notice when you see Mr. Hudson, is his ridiculous hairstyle. I mean seriously, if you extracted the petroleum in the gel from that, he could win by virtue of being able to essentialy coat the place in napalm!

He, as with many of the students of SDA, have probably never had to cook, let alone survive in the wild, so that tent might be of some help. To whoever kills him.

I expect to see him die in a horrible, horrible fashion, very, very early!

He is going to be in quite a few break the haughty fics, but there’s really no eye candy value to him, its all in the dickish personality.

Ali White.

TL;DR: Luna Lovegod, but an ex-ganger with a shotgun.

First of all, I gotta say that I love this girl! Seriously, she has got to be one of the most well picked students so far! She has a very airy, yet optimistic look on life, and manages to be an extrovert with what seems to be unlimited energy!

Her Otherkin-ish outlook on life is amazing, and I expect to see some fanworks of her with pointy ears and wings (And nothing else) very soon. If she can get some LSD (They /always/ put LSD in as a joke weapon), maybe she’ll try and jump off a cliff, screaming “I CAN FLY!” or something.

On second thoughts, keep that bitch away from the LSD, she’ll be a bigger bundle of fun without it. I’d prefer to see her snap and start blowing people away with a happy smile anyway.

Her body and style of dress aren’t major selling points here, but she’s not gonna be fanservicey, I just don’t see it in her.

Sorry piercing fetishists.

I can’t picture her in endgame, but she’ll be one of the few who are genuinely likely to snap and make a big bloody mess, so I’ll be keeping an eye on her Fae ass.

Shawn Morrison.

TL;DR: A Sexy hipster.

This guy is so awesome. Seriously, he rounds out the general level of crazy awesome that just runs through the group! He wears hippie clothes, smokes pot, and is just a really nice guy!

He is also, undeniably hot! I mean, he is Bang-able in the extreme! That might just be my love of retro guys, but hey, let me know what y’all think!

If I’m honest, his draw is sub-par, but even if he got a Razorwire Shotgun, he’d still be a crap player.

Why? I hear you ask. Well, he might be strong, but he is definitely not the kind of guy we see behind the gun. Even more so as veggie.

His desire to do the right thing (As shown, in an example that gives me hope for humanity, in “Rescue Mission”) will get him killed though, which sucks. I just hope he and his rescuee Mae provide us with some good fanservice along the way!

John Benson.

TL;DR: “One of us” with 1337 archery skillz

Traditionally they save the best ‘til last, but tonight gentleman, and (as paxRomana assures me) lesbians, something different!

We have, here, an anime fan (I think that’s just jap cartoons with tentacle rape, but IDK) who spends most of his time sitting on his lazy arse.

Grade A in his subjects

Grade A cannon fodder

The only thing that might come in handy here, is his knowledge of archery. Oh, wait, we didn’t get the bows out this time round? Too bad. Maybe he’ll hack someone up with that Axe. If he could lift it.

Don’t get too attached, this guy is dead within the first day.

Also, completely disregard what I said about Fortune being the least shippable bloke here. That title belongs to Johnny boy. He’ll take residence in R34 and not much else.

Overall.

This team is going to be a good watch, with fanservice, players and drama galore. Book your tickets now!