BEGIN TRANSMISSION
Hello again readers,
It’s that time again. Once more, MidnightQ is here to give you a different perspective on the life and times of the innocent little children participating in this season of SOTF-TV. (Let’s put aside the fact that children are not innocent and are in fact just as capable of being bad as adults are, shall we?) There are still many people convinced that people, particularly children, don’t deserve to be put on the show. These people make arguments and cite statistics and provide analogies and examples to persuade others that they are correct. I would like to try my hand at accomplishing the opposite. Yes, I’m going to show you why the kids on the current season deserve to be here. (It’s an experiment in futility, but I’m sure it will be at least somewhat amusing.) For this experiment, I’ve decided to use the situation in the Cruise Ship as my proof. Let’s take a look and see why those kids actually deserve to be where they are right now.
First off: a rundown of the participants. We have, in as close to chronological order as a simultaneous broadcast of events can be, Sidney Rice, Joshua Doyle, Jonas Jeffries, Vincent Sullivan, and David Myerez. (I still don’t know how to pronounce your last name David. And that irks me.) Now, we have three students from Silver Dragon Academy, and two from Detroit Central High. Expectations of school allegiances are quickly thrown out the window. Of course, why would we expect such allegiances to last in the face of the game, particularly when guns are involved? What began with an execution scenario with two students became a standoff with the arrival of the third. That standoff in turn become complete chaos as the fourth and fifth arrived. From my observations, I see that these kids truly have no idea what they are doing. Yet, the game mentality seems to override things like common sense and logic. Once thrown into a scenario of kill or be killed, these children drop all pretense of societal norms and think nothing of playing the game. How easy it is to throw away basic human decency, am I correct, kids? (To be frank: if they didn’t, they’d die.)
Speaking of human decency, how long did it take Miss Rice to toss out modesty? Really Sidney? Is there something your parents need to know? Because I see little reason for a rich girl from Texas dressing up like a Playboy Bunny for kicks. (I assume she’s rich. All of the kids from SDA are, I think. I’ll double check later.) Though I suppose when you are all about to die in most likely an incredibly gruesome manner, that’s excusable. Except, of course, that it most certainly is not. Or take Mister Jeffries for example. How much time did he spend weighing the morality of threatening other people with a fully automatic weapon? Did you think it through at all? Did it occur to you at any point that you have a fully loaded deadly weapon, the express purpose of said weapon being to kill people? And how long did it take Mister Doyle to ditch his classmates? How long did it take for Mister Myerez to attack Mister Jeffries? Or for Mister Sullivan to threaten, and startle, him into causing the chaotic fiasco that I am going over again and again? These children have abandoned all sense of humanity. The game mentality has taken them over, whether consciously or not.
So do these kids deserve to be there? Do they deserve to be put into scenarios like the one they found themselves in? For the sake of this argument: yes they do, because they serve as an example of our basest human nature. For when we highly civilized people are put into an area where morality is meaningless and survival is always on the line, then we quickly become conductors of chaos. This in itself is not a bad thing. It reminds us that at our cores, we are truly no better or no worse than anyone else. In truth, everyone deserves to be put into that kind of situation. We should be thankful that we aren’t. Now, I have here in my possession a number of statistics that can back up my claims that humans are merely repressed monsters. However, I’m running out of interest and I honestly don’t believe that at all. (As I said, this is an exercise in futility.) This glimpse into the game really only served as a reminder that no matter the person, anyone can and will play the game when put into it. And that’s why SOTF-TV exists. To let people play the game, and to let everyone else have their fun enjoying it played. It’s a wonderful symbiosis of violence and euphoric response to it, isn’t it?
END TRANSMISISON
Showing posts with label Jonas Jeffries. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jonas Jeffries. Show all posts
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
The Starties! [Hosted by SickKitty] (Part 2)
(Part 2) continued...
The 55 in a 54 Zone Prize for "best and blackest" heads over to Devonte Washington for quite possibly being the only reason to ever move to Detroit ever. Seriously. He's so black that if I stand next to him for too long, I'll probably get a killer tan. Haters gonna hate Devonte, but you keep doing your thing, g.
The How the Fuck Do I Work This Award goes to Jonas Jeffries for pretty much attacking the entire universe with bullets. I think one flew through my TV and broke my vase. Well, Max's vase. Well, Max's mom's prized Vase from ancient times. It wasn't like I knocked it over while drunkenly dancing or anything. Nope. It was all Jonas up in this. Honest.
The Best for the Ad Execs prize goes to Jeanette Buendia for flashing the cameras. Let's be honest, if that amazing ass isn't all over the DVD box covers, then the producers have failed us all.
AND FINALLY:
The SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH award goes to Anna Higgins. Who screamed. And did nothing else. Oh my god SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH.
Honorable mentions include the Rosaline Prize for "most forgotten love interest" toZachariah Johnson, who will never live up to the godly sexy godliness of sex that is Shawn Morrison, and the Little Jimmy is Feeling New Things Down There Award for "most awkward moment to become sexually aroused" to Bobby Goldman for getting a massive erection at the sight of Amber Lyons. No worries Bobby, those things you're feeling are a perfectly natural part of growing up.
Alrighty lovers, SickKitty is out for now. Remember to keep your pretty ears peeled for the first Season 65 Max and Kitty podcast, and until next time, keep on stripping ladies!
Friday, April 22, 2011
Comrade_Snowball's Game Recap #1 Stray Observations
Stray Observations
Idiotic players weren’t the only thing I noticed. Take a look at some of the other things that’ve caught my attention!
- Marvia Jones and Natalie Chauncey – you knew I was bound to mention this scene; it’s one for the highlight reel. Sex scenes are always common, but sex on ecstasy? Marvia propelled her popularity into the stratosphere with that choice. She’s unleashed a torrent of fanfics, pairing her with everyone from Jared Clayton to Alicia White! I’m quite sure no one expected the ending to that. Natalie won’t die from not wearing a bandanna, but she’s definitely going to have some problems linking with her team, what with Marvia now impersonating her. Marvia, definitely a late-gamer and one to watch.
- As I’ve noted before, the weaker teams are clearly becoming visible. Black Team and Grey Team have had several early game bumps, and Green Team still has that mentor handicap to get over.
- Bobby Goldman and Axel Stadler have proven to be quite brilliant strategists, displaying a knack for creative thinking when it comes to scavenging for supplies and making due with what they have. I expect a real fight from them.
- Sidney Rice, Timothy Walker and Karen Ruiz have established themselves as early game players. Not sure what exactly Jonas Jeffries plan is, (his actions are a little too bizarre and I can’t peg him down as a villain or not) but it is fairly obvious from Sidney’s behaviour she was looking for a kill on Joshua Doyle. I didn’t expect Karen Ruiz to swing toward murder quite so fast, if at all. Definitely a bonus to the Purple Team, one I did not count on initially.
- Timothy Walker is proving to be an absolute joy to watch, and a natural on camera. So many students forget the cameras’ are there, but following him it seems like everything is one big joke, and the viewer is the only one in on it. Aside from him of course. Pure gold, that kid.
- I was pleased to see some students actually showing an appreciation for their costumes. Mae St. Clair in full Kimono was a sight for the ages, (as was her stripping shortly after) and Sidney and Panya Bishara look to have no intention of ditching their respective costumes.
- Alicia White has proven to be quite the spacey one, nearly getting her head blown off after forgetting to affix her bandanna. Really? Liability if I ever saw one.
- Some students have been noticeably absent so far. Lost in the jungle perhaps?
That’s all for now folks. Stay tuned to Survival of the Snarkiest for more coverage!
Idiotic players weren’t the only thing I noticed. Take a look at some of the other things that’ve caught my attention!
- Marvia Jones and Natalie Chauncey – you knew I was bound to mention this scene; it’s one for the highlight reel. Sex scenes are always common, but sex on ecstasy? Marvia propelled her popularity into the stratosphere with that choice. She’s unleashed a torrent of fanfics, pairing her with everyone from Jared Clayton to Alicia White! I’m quite sure no one expected the ending to that. Natalie won’t die from not wearing a bandanna, but she’s definitely going to have some problems linking with her team, what with Marvia now impersonating her. Marvia, definitely a late-gamer and one to watch.
- As I’ve noted before, the weaker teams are clearly becoming visible. Black Team and Grey Team have had several early game bumps, and Green Team still has that mentor handicap to get over.
- Bobby Goldman and Axel Stadler have proven to be quite brilliant strategists, displaying a knack for creative thinking when it comes to scavenging for supplies and making due with what they have. I expect a real fight from them.
- Sidney Rice, Timothy Walker and Karen Ruiz have established themselves as early game players. Not sure what exactly Jonas Jeffries plan is, (his actions are a little too bizarre and I can’t peg him down as a villain or not) but it is fairly obvious from Sidney’s behaviour she was looking for a kill on Joshua Doyle. I didn’t expect Karen Ruiz to swing toward murder quite so fast, if at all. Definitely a bonus to the Purple Team, one I did not count on initially.
- Timothy Walker is proving to be an absolute joy to watch, and a natural on camera. So many students forget the cameras’ are there, but following him it seems like everything is one big joke, and the viewer is the only one in on it. Aside from him of course. Pure gold, that kid.
- I was pleased to see some students actually showing an appreciation for their costumes. Mae St. Clair in full Kimono was a sight for the ages, (as was her stripping shortly after) and Sidney and Panya Bishara look to have no intention of ditching their respective costumes.
- Alicia White has proven to be quite the spacey one, nearly getting her head blown off after forgetting to affix her bandanna. Really? Liability if I ever saw one.
- Some students have been noticeably absent so far. Lost in the jungle perhaps?
That’s all for now folks. Stay tuned to Survival of the Snarkiest for more coverage!
Comrade_Snowball's Game Recap #1 The Idiot Box
The Idiot Box
SotF: TV has had a long running tradition of idiotic or cannon fodder players. I think it would be fitting to take a moment now, point out a few kids who aren’t just cutting it, for one reason or the other
- Bob Lazenby - Every season has them, the whiners who bundle up into a ball, sobbing away until a bullet puts them out of their misery. Bob has not had a strong start, and has proven utterly useless. (Another handicap for the Black Team...)
- Ben Grayson – Now I know what you’re thinking. Ben has been given an ideal weapon for the early stages, the ability to disguise himself as a member of any team he may choose. But his methods have been pitiful at best. Throwing on a bandanna at random, he’s been trudging around, approaching random players, even when the bandannas clearly show an opposing team. I’m surprised he hasn’t been killed yet. Bad luck for Pink Team, their strategic weapon, stuck with by far one of the dimmest bulbs we’ve seen yet on SotF: TV
- John Benson – John had a particularly good stroke of luck, running across Jhamel Thompson and Brenda early on. The potential for an alliance was there, but John quickly established himself as a stuck up jerk, hitting Brenda with her own weapon, showing a lack of respect for April Stone and antagonizing Jhamel, seeking a weapon trade. It’s come back to bite him in the ass, his behaviour has led to his exclusion from the potential alliance. Youch.
- Jonas Jeffries – I pegged this jitterbug as an entertainment source, and boy was I right. Almost immediately Jonas was up and about, surprising a group of SDA students with his MAC-10. Unfortunately for Jonas, not being one of the smartest, he didn’t bother to read the manual, and after being surprised by Vincent Sullivan he was off. The resulting gunfire was spectacular, but didn’t result in any kills. He’s as good as dead as soon as the others get their bearings.
- Todd Hudson – I can overlook Todd mistaking Marcus Walker’s Yellow Bandanna for a Gold one. A stupid decision, but understandable. But as soon as he opened his mouth, Todd secured the status as “Mr. Too Dumb to Live”. Really Todd? Nigga? To the pissed off black boy?
- Natalie Chauncey, taking candy from strangers. Jees. First she gets snuck up on and nearly shot, next, she's taking pills with some girl in the park? Brain dead much? I wonder if this girl has a death wish or something...
SotF: TV has had a long running tradition of idiotic or cannon fodder players. I think it would be fitting to take a moment now, point out a few kids who aren’t just cutting it, for one reason or the other
- Bob Lazenby - Every season has them, the whiners who bundle up into a ball, sobbing away until a bullet puts them out of their misery. Bob has not had a strong start, and has proven utterly useless. (Another handicap for the Black Team...)
- Ben Grayson – Now I know what you’re thinking. Ben has been given an ideal weapon for the early stages, the ability to disguise himself as a member of any team he may choose. But his methods have been pitiful at best. Throwing on a bandanna at random, he’s been trudging around, approaching random players, even when the bandannas clearly show an opposing team. I’m surprised he hasn’t been killed yet. Bad luck for Pink Team, their strategic weapon, stuck with by far one of the dimmest bulbs we’ve seen yet on SotF: TV
- John Benson – John had a particularly good stroke of luck, running across Jhamel Thompson and Brenda early on. The potential for an alliance was there, but John quickly established himself as a stuck up jerk, hitting Brenda with her own weapon, showing a lack of respect for April Stone and antagonizing Jhamel, seeking a weapon trade. It’s come back to bite him in the ass, his behaviour has led to his exclusion from the potential alliance. Youch.
- Jonas Jeffries – I pegged this jitterbug as an entertainment source, and boy was I right. Almost immediately Jonas was up and about, surprising a group of SDA students with his MAC-10. Unfortunately for Jonas, not being one of the smartest, he didn’t bother to read the manual, and after being surprised by Vincent Sullivan he was off. The resulting gunfire was spectacular, but didn’t result in any kills. He’s as good as dead as soon as the others get their bearings.
- Todd Hudson – I can overlook Todd mistaking Marcus Walker’s Yellow Bandanna for a Gold one. A stupid decision, but understandable. But as soon as he opened his mouth, Todd secured the status as “Mr. Too Dumb to Live”. Really Todd? Nigga? To the pissed off black boy?
- Natalie Chauncey, taking candy from strangers. Jees. First she gets snuck up on and nearly shot, next, she's taking pills with some girl in the park? Brain dead much? I wonder if this girl has a death wish or something...
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Pink Team Analysis by Comrade_Snowball
Hey, it’s Snowball here! We’re keeping busy leaking more info on the teams. As you can see, Ajax-Kun and MadMax are assisting me, but expect even more well known SotF Bloggers coming in soon, as well as some new blood!
Now I’ve decided to review one of the more eccentric and unpredictable teams this Season, the Pink Team. A lot of controversy when they were first announced, it’s an all male squad and some say they’ve been overpowered in the weapons department. You be the judge. Let’s take a look!
TEAM PINK PHOTO
Mentor: Mike Patterson
Now, right of the bat it looks like Pink Team is in trouble. Mentors this year have run the gamut from SotF Experts to Military Instructors, even a past winner (Much love to Jared!). Some of the mentors however have been on the weaker end, and Patterson seems to be one of, if not the, weakest mentor. From what limited info the Producers have given us, Patterson seems to be a completely average fan, winning his place in that contest the SotF Team were running last summer. With MARwin crunching stats and Jared with first hand knowledge of the game, Patterson is at a huge disadvantage. He’s got the tools to make a decent run, but Pink could easily turn into this seasons joke team.
- Anyone heard of the term “Deer in the Headlights?” Exactly what we’re looking at here.
- Patterson isn’t the smartest guy out there, but then again, he’s not totally stupid judging from the promo material. Still, he’s fighting an uphill battle.
Team Member 1: Anthony Rollins
Traits: Friendly, Naturally Observant, Smaller Kid
Weapon: Claymore
Anthony seems like a weak member for Team Pink. If he can keep his head straight he could make a good lookout or scout for the rest of the guys, but I’m betting he’ll be an early out. Why? Anna Higgins, Member of Team Blue. Promo material suggests these two were either in a direct relationship, or film making buddies. Producers, the sadistically amazing bastards they are, have split the buddies up. If Anthony is going to get out of here, it’s going to be without Anna, or in a body bag. My instincts tell me Anthony is going to take his huge ass weapon (That he can barely hold, by the looks of things) and go looking for his friend, only to be untimely gunned down. Patterson and the rest of Team Pink better find out where his allegiances lay quick. Even if he abandons his buddy-buddy, I’m just not feeling it here.
Team Member 2: Jonas Jeffries
Traits: Twitchy, Smoker, Clumsy, Cowardly, Whiny, Unprincipled, Small and Nervous
Weapon: MAC-10
Ohhhh man, this is an interesting one. Jonas is as good as doomed, mark my words. Interesting to note, like Anthony he also seems to have close ties with a fellow student, Panya Bishara, on Team Black. But I’m thinking Jonas will go in a bit of a different direction, judging from his cowardly nature. Jeffries seems like someone who wouldn’t think twice about abandoning his friend, if it means his continued existence. Not that he’ll last long. Anyone remember “Hoot” Hawkely, Season 3? Clumsy bastard fell on his own grenade. Jonas is going in the same direction, and the more competent members of his team better realize it fast. I expect quite a few classic moments coming from Jonas’ prior to his untimely demise. Only question I have, will it be from friendly fire?
Team Member 3: Glen Bole
Traits: Bully, Track star, Juvie Hall Delinquent, Cowardly Jerkass
Weapon: SPAS-12
Here we go! Glen is in my opinion, the natural leader of Pink Team. While Anthony is off looking for his friend and Jonas is busy blowing off his feet, Glen is going to take the fight to the enemy. Cowardly, yes, but he’s also strong and doesn’t seem to be afraid to pull any punches. Mark my words; he’ll be a player from the beginning. And with a Shotgun backing him up, how cowardly can he really be? If Patterson gets the group together, Glen is going to be his voice on the ground. Pink Team could end up winning the whole thing if Glen takes control and ups the brutality. Hell, if Rollins or Jeffries end up sticking close to Bole, they could last until the end after all! Top Five written all over him.
Team Member 4: Benjamin Grayson
Traits: Medic, Artist, Loner, Bookworm
Weapon: Full Set of Team Bandannas
A lot of variables with Benji here. He could serve his purpose, an ideal team medic giving his knowledge of first aid. But then again, the kid doesn’t have that much social skills, limiting his weapon usage. I can see him getting along with Anthony easy, but Glen? I’m not sure on this one... For their sake, let’s hope Benji takes orders well. He doesn’t have a weapon, but he could easily grab one from Jonas as soon as he snuffs it. If he can get those bandannas to his team, I can picture an early game massacre of epic proportions, perpetrated by Glen.
Team Member 5: Isaac King
Traits: Gun Training, Small Kid, Weak, Cautious
Weapon: IMI Desert Eagle
Isaac makes an ideal second in command, if Glen gets his ass in gear. He’s one of those few kids with gun training, rifles in this case. I expect him to be a top tier killer if Pink Team forms together. Not much else to say, but I can picture him making it to the end if he can hook up with his team.
OVERALL
Well, well, well. Pink Team certainly has a lot of options. Weak links are most definitely Jonas and Anthony, and I predict a messy demise for the entire team unless those two are dealt with or fall into line. Benji could hack it if he sticks close to Glen and Isaac. Personality wise, I can see Anthony clashing with Glen, with Glen coming out on top. Worth following Isaac, Glen and Jonas, entertainment wise. Isaac and Glen could go all the way if Patterson proves decent, and Jonas is bound to ruin /something/ before he dies. Benji looks to be a support character, and I predict Anthony will die before half.
Now I’ve decided to review one of the more eccentric and unpredictable teams this Season, the Pink Team. A lot of controversy when they were first announced, it’s an all male squad and some say they’ve been overpowered in the weapons department. You be the judge. Let’s take a look!
TEAM PINK PHOTO
Mentor: Mike Patterson
Now, right of the bat it looks like Pink Team is in trouble. Mentors this year have run the gamut from SotF Experts to Military Instructors, even a past winner (Much love to Jared!). Some of the mentors however have been on the weaker end, and Patterson seems to be one of, if not the, weakest mentor. From what limited info the Producers have given us, Patterson seems to be a completely average fan, winning his place in that contest the SotF Team were running last summer. With MARwin crunching stats and Jared with first hand knowledge of the game, Patterson is at a huge disadvantage. He’s got the tools to make a decent run, but Pink could easily turn into this seasons joke team.
- Anyone heard of the term “Deer in the Headlights?” Exactly what we’re looking at here.
- Patterson isn’t the smartest guy out there, but then again, he’s not totally stupid judging from the promo material. Still, he’s fighting an uphill battle.
Team Member 1: Anthony Rollins
Traits: Friendly, Naturally Observant, Smaller Kid
Weapon: Claymore
Anthony seems like a weak member for Team Pink. If he can keep his head straight he could make a good lookout or scout for the rest of the guys, but I’m betting he’ll be an early out. Why? Anna Higgins, Member of Team Blue. Promo material suggests these two were either in a direct relationship, or film making buddies. Producers, the sadistically amazing bastards they are, have split the buddies up. If Anthony is going to get out of here, it’s going to be without Anna, or in a body bag. My instincts tell me Anthony is going to take his huge ass weapon (That he can barely hold, by the looks of things) and go looking for his friend, only to be untimely gunned down. Patterson and the rest of Team Pink better find out where his allegiances lay quick. Even if he abandons his buddy-buddy, I’m just not feeling it here.
Team Member 2: Jonas Jeffries
Traits: Twitchy, Smoker, Clumsy, Cowardly, Whiny, Unprincipled, Small and Nervous
Weapon: MAC-10
Ohhhh man, this is an interesting one. Jonas is as good as doomed, mark my words. Interesting to note, like Anthony he also seems to have close ties with a fellow student, Panya Bishara, on Team Black. But I’m thinking Jonas will go in a bit of a different direction, judging from his cowardly nature. Jeffries seems like someone who wouldn’t think twice about abandoning his friend, if it means his continued existence. Not that he’ll last long. Anyone remember “Hoot” Hawkely, Season 3? Clumsy bastard fell on his own grenade. Jonas is going in the same direction, and the more competent members of his team better realize it fast. I expect quite a few classic moments coming from Jonas’ prior to his untimely demise. Only question I have, will it be from friendly fire?
Team Member 3: Glen Bole
Traits: Bully, Track star, Juvie Hall Delinquent, Cowardly Jerkass
Weapon: SPAS-12
Here we go! Glen is in my opinion, the natural leader of Pink Team. While Anthony is off looking for his friend and Jonas is busy blowing off his feet, Glen is going to take the fight to the enemy. Cowardly, yes, but he’s also strong and doesn’t seem to be afraid to pull any punches. Mark my words; he’ll be a player from the beginning. And with a Shotgun backing him up, how cowardly can he really be? If Patterson gets the group together, Glen is going to be his voice on the ground. Pink Team could end up winning the whole thing if Glen takes control and ups the brutality. Hell, if Rollins or Jeffries end up sticking close to Bole, they could last until the end after all! Top Five written all over him.
Team Member 4: Benjamin Grayson
Traits: Medic, Artist, Loner, Bookworm
Weapon: Full Set of Team Bandannas
A lot of variables with Benji here. He could serve his purpose, an ideal team medic giving his knowledge of first aid. But then again, the kid doesn’t have that much social skills, limiting his weapon usage. I can see him getting along with Anthony easy, but Glen? I’m not sure on this one... For their sake, let’s hope Benji takes orders well. He doesn’t have a weapon, but he could easily grab one from Jonas as soon as he snuffs it. If he can get those bandannas to his team, I can picture an early game massacre of epic proportions, perpetrated by Glen.
Team Member 5: Isaac King
Traits: Gun Training, Small Kid, Weak, Cautious
Weapon: IMI Desert Eagle
Isaac makes an ideal second in command, if Glen gets his ass in gear. He’s one of those few kids with gun training, rifles in this case. I expect him to be a top tier killer if Pink Team forms together. Not much else to say, but I can picture him making it to the end if he can hook up with his team.
OVERALL
Well, well, well. Pink Team certainly has a lot of options. Weak links are most definitely Jonas and Anthony, and I predict a messy demise for the entire team unless those two are dealt with or fall into line. Benji could hack it if he sticks close to Glen and Isaac. Personality wise, I can see Anthony clashing with Glen, with Glen coming out on top. Worth following Isaac, Glen and Jonas, entertainment wise. Isaac and Glen could go all the way if Patterson proves decent, and Jonas is bound to ruin /something/ before he dies. Benji looks to be a support character, and I predict Anthony will die before half.
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